I locked you away where you wouldn't disturb
my thoughts and my dreams, because you can't perturb
what you can't see. Memories Fade and dim;
their accompanying feelings can't last this grim
arrangement. So, into the dark I sent you.
My feelings became colors. First, I was blue;
my sorrow was complete, and I thought this: "Yes.
This is the pain of a broken heart." I guess
I didn't realize the pain of emotions
under duress. The chest, in this commotion,
can feel pain that no doctor can hope to heal
(So, I wondered if that meant my pain was real?
It felt it. Oh, yes.). And then I was green.
My envy was deep and complete; so profound
I became sick with it. I would pound the ground
with my fists, hating he who was yours; not me.
Then, hating myself for this hate I made free.
I hated the hate and, so too, the envy,
but, try as I might, they were all I could be.
The green in my cheeks turned pink, and the pink red.
It was anger rising when thoughts of the dead
possibilities crept in. I was angry
at my place, at him, at me, at history
itself (not the individual events,
but the simple concept of things came and went.
If "past" was past, if "history" history,
it might be us, today, instead of just me.).
Rage raged within me, directed at nothing
and anything at all. Fists clenched; teeth grinding.
I was angry at everyone. Except you.
For you, there was only love. Though it is true
that I tried to taint, to poison, memories
of you and I so that I could strike and seize
the advantage of a weakened foundation,
eroded and corroded. My salvation
would be found as the mental palace I built
for you crumbled to ash. My heart met the tilt.
Time after time I tried and failed, and I cried
out in frustrated anguish before I sighed
in resigned defeat. Finally, I was gray.
I was lost. I had nothing at all to say.
A shadow, an empty shell. I crept along
in an agonizingly dull world all wrong.
The color was gone. The days were white; the nights
were black; the rainbows, just shades of gray. No bite
in the wind could match that in my heart. I looked
for every - for any - way out. So I booked
you a flight. Found a car. I chartered a ship.
I sent you away. It was a one way trip.
I locked you away; I wanted to be free
of this curse your indifference cast on me.
Mar 1, 2014
Mar 1, 2014 at 5:24 PM UTC
I locked you away where you wouldn't disturb
my thoughts and my dreams, because you can't perturb
what you can't see. Memories Fade and dim;
their accompanying feelings can't last this grim
arrangement. So, into the dark I sent you.
My feelings became colors. First, I was blue;
my sorrow was complete, and I thought this: "Yes.
This is the pain of a broken heart." I guess
I didn't realize the pain of emotions
under duress. The chest, in this commotion,
can feel pain that no doctor can hope to heal
(So, I wondered if that meant my pain was real?
It felt it. Oh, yes.). And then I was green.
My envy was deep and complete; so profound
I became sick with it. I would pound the ground
with my fists, hating he who was yours; not me.
Then, hating myself for this hate I made free.
I hated the hate and, so too, the envy,
but, try as I might, they were all I could be.
The green in my cheeks turned pink, and the pink red.
It was anger rising when thoughts of the dead
possibilities crept in. I was angry
at my place, at him, at me, at history
itself (not the individual events,
but the simple concept of things came and went.
If "past" was past, if "history" history,
it might be us, today, instead of just me.).
Rage raged within me, directed at nothing
and anything at all. Fists clenched; teeth grinding.
I was angry at everyone. Except you.
For you, there was only love. Though it is true
that I tried to taint, to poison, memories
of you and I so that I could strike and seize
the advantage of a weakened foundation,
eroded and corroded. My salvation
would be found as the mental palace I built
for you crumbled to ash. My heart met the tilt.
Time after time I tried and failed, and I cried
out in frustrated anguish before I sighed
in resigned defeat. Finally, I was gray.
I was lost. I had nothing at all to say.
A shadow, an empty shell. I crept along
in an agonizingly dull world all wrong.
The color was gone. The days were white; the nights
were black; the rainbows, just shades of gray. No bite
in the wind could match that in my heart. I looked
for every - for any - way out. So I booked
you a flight. Found a car. I chartered a ship.
I sent you away. It was a one way trip.
I locked you away; I wanted to be free
of this curse your indifference cast on me.
