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she asked if i knew what i wanted when i was 18 of course i ******* knew what i wanted back then that is when i first fell in love with a soul sucker and my life whent completely off course.  what i wanted ****** me over, and now i don't know if i should give in since then i sold my soul to the devil, just to give in to get what ever i want, and still i don't really ******* think i need what i really ******* think i want **** what i want. i want what i need i need the old **** the **** that got me so high that i didn't need to sleep for days, or i could sleep and it wouldn't matter because you were watching and i could ******* sleep as deep as i wanted to and know that when i come up for air, you would be there waiting to know that i fell asleep and made it alright and that high became life, i stayed high off you so much so that it doesn't really scare me that i talk to you at night in my writing, or when I'm singing, or when i do ******* anything you stupid ***** what the **** did you slip in my drink???? im poisoned after the fact and i can't get you out of my blood the way i see it, is not the same way my therapist sees it so i keep going to him, just kidding i never see him, he hates me or maybe he doesn't, either way he never tells me how he feels, he just asks me questions and lets me sit in my feelings for seconds **** that i sit in them all day, i don't need to pay to find the pain i just ******* really  need to stop sleeping or find a way to fall asleep either of the two because i only live when I'm dreaming now, its not the drugs, no i mean real ******* full blown dreams like god ****** how it was back before we ****** and i told your lover that i only enjoyed dreaming and not waking life just because i could be with you, and yet he didn't take my warning **** no! no one ever takes my warning, they are all too busy listening to their own god **** ***** and hearts and blood pumping rust and their own god **** thoughts and feelings, and it never ever occurs or comes back to me in the end, always to them, so **** them, wait also im gonna stop thinking about you in the end, because **** you too youre not special enough to deserve two separate entities of people waking up everyday thinking about how selfish, or pretty you are or whatever else i do think about you, more like wonder because youre fake imagination or maybe you are still alive and still exist and i didn't make you up to hurt myself , maybe i only think about me now, i don't know yet great . i just ******* think about how possessed i am that i have nothing nice to say about you, good thing i say nothing at all to you, and i just spend all this time, painting you into pictures, even tho I'm using my own blood i say that now but until i blow my brains out onto venetian blinds, just for the splatter effect                        and because i hate them enough to waste my life on them                                              whatever will i do , but waste my life on you
0
Dec 28, 2013
Dec 28, 2013 at 5:06 AM UTC
**** Holden Caulfield
she asked if i knew what i wanted when i was 18 of course i ******* knew what i wanted back then that is when i first fell in love with a soul sucker and my life whent completely off course.  what i wanted ****** me over, and now i don't know if i should give in since then i sold my soul to the devil, just to give in to get what ever i want, and still i don't really ******* think i need what i really ******* think i want **** what i want. i want what i need i need the old **** the **** that got me so high that i didn't need to sleep for days, or i could sleep and it wouldn't matter because you were watching and i could ******* sleep as deep as i wanted to and know that when i come up for air, you would be there waiting to know that i fell asleep and made it alright and that high became life, i stayed high off you so much so that it doesn't really scare me that i talk to you at night in my writing, or when I'm singing, or when i do ******* anything you stupid ***** what the **** did you slip in my drink???? im poisoned after the fact and i can't get you out of my blood the way i see it, is not the same way my therapist sees it so i keep going to him, just kidding i never see him, he hates me or maybe he doesn't, either way he never tells me how he feels, he just asks me questions and lets me sit in my feelings for seconds **** that i sit in them all day, i don't need to pay to find the pain i just ******* really  need to stop sleeping or find a way to fall asleep either of the two because i only live when I'm dreaming now, its not the drugs, no i mean real ******* full blown dreams like god ****** how it was back before we ****** and i told your lover that i only enjoyed dreaming and not waking life just because i could be with you, and yet he didn't take my warning **** no! no one ever takes my warning, they are all too busy listening to their own god **** ***** and hearts and blood pumping rust and their own god **** thoughts and feelings, and it never ever occurs or comes back to me in the end, always to them, so **** them, wait also im gonna stop thinking about you in the end, because **** you too youre not special enough to deserve two separate entities of people waking up everyday thinking about how selfish, or pretty you are or whatever else i do think about you, more like wonder because youre fake imagination or maybe you are still alive and still exist and i didn't make you up to hurt myself , maybe i only think about me now, i don't know yet great . i just ******* think about how possessed i am that i have nothing nice to say about you, good thing i say nothing at all to you, and i just spend all this time, painting you into pictures, even tho I'm using my own blood i say that now but until i blow my brains out onto venetian blinds, just for the splatter effect                        and because i hate them enough to waste my life on them                                              whatever will i do , but waste my life on you
frances-lazarus-blackheart
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Dec 28, 2013
Dec 28, 2013 at 5:06 AM UTC
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