Emotions…..
laid out on a great whiteboard, bound with thin red string. I know what each one is meant to be. I can name them, follow their ties, understand their use. But I do not feel them. Not in any way that matters.
The spectrum stretches wide and unreachable.
I stand outside it, barred. Not one dark strand of this vast spider’s web offers me passage. Every door is closed.
I do not let it show. I live this truth quietly, in solitude.
I wear the right expressions. I speak the right words.
I mimic what is expected for those around me—for the ones who care, for the ones who are important.
They give my life its shape. They make it look ordinary.
They make it look…
believable.
That’s why I need them.
A twisted sense of attachment, deprived of an emotional base.
Just calculated practical need.
12h ago
Jun 4, 2026 at 6:45 AM UTC
Emotions…..
laid out on a great whiteboard, bound with thin red string. I know what each one is meant to be. I can name them, follow their ties, understand their use. But I do not feel them. Not in any way that matters.
The spectrum stretches wide and unreachable.
I stand outside it, barred. Not one dark strand of this vast spider’s web offers me passage. Every door is closed.
I do not let it show. I live this truth quietly, in solitude.
I wear the right expressions. I speak the right words.
I mimic what is expected for those around me—for the ones who care, for the ones who are important.
They give my life its shape. They make it look ordinary.
They make it look…
believable.
That’s why I need them.
A twisted sense of attachment, deprived of an emotional base.
Just calculated practical need.
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