#believable
Emotions…..
laid out on a great whiteboard, bound with thin red string. I know what each one is meant to be. I can name them, follow their ties, understand their use. But I do not feel them. Not in any way that matters.
The spectrum stretches wide and unreachable.
I stand outside it, barred. Not one dark strand of this vast spider’s web offers me passage. Every door is closed.
I do not let it show. I live this truth quietly, in solitude.
I wear the right expressions. I speak the right words.
I mimic what is expected for those around me—for the ones who care, for the ones who are important.
They give my life its shape. They make it look ordinary.
They make it look…
believable.
That’s why I need them.
A twisted sense of attachment, deprived of an emotional base.
Just calculated practical need.
3h ago
Jun 4, 2026 at 6:45 AM UTC
i'm sorry
i want to be okay
i want to have an appetite again
i want to be able to smile
with tears in my eyes
because i'm so happy
and not because i'm depressed
and hiding
i want to be able to be myself
and not hide who i am
behind the mask of someone
that i'm not
but you don't care
as long as i'm pretending to be happy right?
you think you know who i am
but you only know the one that i show to others
the one that isn't real
you don't know the one
that lays in bed at night crying
the one who stays up late just to draw
you have 9 months
before i move out and go to college
9 months to figure out who i am
good luck with that
because even i don't know who i am
Mar 22, 2021
Mar 22, 2021 at 9:21 PM UTC
I've been told that i'm not fixable
That when I smile it's not believable
The human race is so unpleasable
I'm not sure what to do...
Oct 2, 2015
Oct 2, 2015 at 9:19 AM UTC