Just ask me and maybe I will tell you, then again maybe not
Death's bouquet doesn't begin to cover up the stentch of the rot
How many lies have I sold? I don't know. How many have you bought?
I have no doubt that it was probably a whole lot
I'm discombobulated and more than a little distraught
Trying to remember all the lessons I already forgot
I always seem to crash and burn in a hell of a tail spin
Never have I ever been comfortable just sitting here in my own **** skin
I not only do not remember where I'm going but I have forgotten where I have been
All I know is **** it, here we go once again
The air perfumed with the scent of *** and sin
I'm just as ****** up now as I ever really was way back when
I travel on beyond the parameters of my very disturbed mind
searching for the things that I personally believe I'll never find
Always in the sinister darkness stumbling like I am blind
As I try and sever all the **** ties that are said to bind
Jurt as I have truly burned, I have perished and I have even pined
choking on these oh so fatal feelings, on which for so long now I have dined.
So many perplexing questions I constantly seem to ponder
The question is do the answers make me feel any stronger
All these **** creatures I seemed to accidentally conjure
To me are the very ones that are hardest of all conquer
There are many times where I have been sure that I was going to be a goner
Either way I would have met my fate and few to glory with honor
**** I really do miss my ride or die, my very die to ride
There seems to be no one left, in which I care to even confide
My all thoughts that all too frequently turn to homicide
**** Billy Wayne I wish like hell you that you hadn't died
feels so weird without my cuz standing here right by my side
in the shadows of this weird cloud I now attempt to hide
hiding all these **** tears that I've denied I ever cried
I have no problems telling you flat out that I'm writhing in unbearable pain
Theat could be why every symbol I utter drips with much disdain
These inhumane thoughts I find that I often seem to entertain
I just simply cannot ever begin to even try to explain
my eyes are hazel green so I cannot be just another blue eyed ***** crying in the rain
that's why everything I attempt to write is explicit and profane
It is what it is though and that's definitely all it's ever going to be
I surely do not give a flying **** if you tend to disagree
It is highly unlikely that I will ever feel any kind of Sympathy
I am begging anyone and everyone to come save myself from. the very likes of me
I'm Standing here completely lost among the dust and the debris, ever so quietly
just completely eaten all the way up by my extreme anxiety
my patience is growing thin and it's always in such a short supply
Dark and gray is my very dismal and extremely tragic sky
As I always seem to run into myself chasing spirits and smoke clouds without even knowing why
Smile plastered on my unrecognizable face as I come riding right by
wishing that I had some wings so that maybe I could really fly
instead of just rising to the very occasion as I get ******* high
off of this yellow brick road it's time for me to journey into the clear blue
Do not attempt to stand there and judge me like some people try to do
you really do not have any idea what kind of horrors I have lived though
The people that I actually trust, believe me there are very fucking few
To be honest there is probably only just one or two
if one of them isn't even me what makes you think the other one could ever be you
I'm hella throwed off that much I say is **** straight
Yet I'm still the captain of my ship and the master of my fate
Even though the things I constantly contemplate make it that much harder for me to concentrate
All my life I lived half *** on sedate constantly trying my best to self medicate
So maybe all of this anguish and turmoil I can finally
alleviate
before from all my well laid plans I start just to Deviate
So here's to all the terrors that have already been told
the older I grow. I grow more corrupt and so very **** cold
All of my inner most secrets have already been exposed
Good, bad and indifferent all are juxtaposed
like this mental situation that has just never been properly Diagnosed
As I am living with the ghosts of all the monsters that have decomposed
Falling from the sky in reverse right back into every pain filled yesterday
Why does every line that I write have to sound so cliche
The bad intentions and horrible ideas I attempt to purvey
Like a flickering flame that is just starting to fade away
Here in this silence the gunshots echo and the bullets ricochet
That's why nothing that appears to be golden never really seems to stay.
I have said just what I have meant and I meant just what I said
The disease of addiction from what I have seen is completely wide spread
The complications rattle on quiet loudly inside of my head
Especially when I'm staring at my ceiling while laying wide awake in my bed
If you are looking for Mercy or decency I haven't a shred
living my entire life like I have always been about three fourths dead
That's it this poem is now quite fin. it's over and done
Things are much more difficult now that I'm no longer young and dumb
I was always told I'd die tired if ever I dared try to run
I might as well be spinning spinning spun, who knows me better than me, none
Fit to be tied must be my silver streaked tongue
yet another sorrow filled chapter of my life's story has just begun
May 26
May 26, 2026 at 7:11 PM UTC
Just ask me and maybe I will tell you, then again maybe not
Death's bouquet doesn't begin to cover up the stentch of the rot
How many lies have I sold? I don't know. How many have you bought?
I have no doubt that it was probably a whole lot
I'm discombobulated and more than a little distraught
Trying to remember all the lessons I already forgot
I always seem to crash and burn in a hell of a tail spin
Never have I ever been comfortable just sitting here in my own **** skin
I not only do not remember where I'm going but I have forgotten where I have been
All I know is **** it, here we go once again
The air perfumed with the scent of *** and sin
I'm just as ****** up now as I ever really was way back when
I travel on beyond the parameters of my very disturbed mind
searching for the things that I personally believe I'll never find
Always in the sinister darkness stumbling like I am blind
As I try and sever all the **** ties that are said to bind
Jurt as I have truly burned, I have perished and I have even pined
choking on these oh so fatal feelings, on which for so long now I have dined.
So many perplexing questions I constantly seem to ponder
The question is do the answers make me feel any stronger
All these **** creatures I seemed to accidentally conjure
To me are the very ones that are hardest of all conquer
There are many times where I have been sure that I was going to be a goner
Either way I would have met my fate and few to glory with honor
**** I really do miss my ride or die, my very die to ride
There seems to be no one left, in which I care to even confide
My all thoughts that all too frequently turn to homicide
**** Billy Wayne I wish like hell you that you hadn't died
feels so weird without my cuz standing here right by my side
in the shadows of this weird cloud I now attempt to hide
hiding all these **** tears that I've denied I ever cried
I have no problems telling you flat out that I'm writhing in unbearable pain
Theat could be why every symbol I utter drips with much disdain
These inhumane thoughts I find that I often seem to entertain
I just simply cannot ever begin to even try to explain
my eyes are hazel green so I cannot be just another blue eyed ***** crying in the rain
that's why everything I attempt to write is explicit and profane
It is what it is though and that's definitely all it's ever going to be
I surely do not give a flying **** if you tend to disagree
It is highly unlikely that I will ever feel any kind of Sympathy
I am begging anyone and everyone to come save myself from. the very likes of me
I'm Standing here completely lost among the dust and the debris, ever so quietly
just completely eaten all the way up by my extreme anxiety
my patience is growing thin and it's always in such a short supply
Dark and gray is my very dismal and extremely tragic sky
As I always seem to run into myself chasing spirits and smoke clouds without even knowing why
Smile plastered on my unrecognizable face as I come riding right by
wishing that I had some wings so that maybe I could really fly
instead of just rising to the very occasion as I get ******* high
off of this yellow brick road it's time for me to journey into the clear blue
Do not attempt to stand there and judge me like some people try to do
you really do not have any idea what kind of horrors I have lived though
The people that I actually trust, believe me there are very fucking few
To be honest there is probably only just one or two
if one of them isn't even me what makes you think the other one could ever be you
I'm hella throwed off that much I say is **** straight
Yet I'm still the captain of my ship and the master of my fate
Even though the things I constantly contemplate make it that much harder for me to concentrate
All my life I lived half *** on sedate constantly trying my best to self medicate
So maybe all of this anguish and turmoil I can finally
alleviate
before from all my well laid plans I start just to Deviate
So here's to all the terrors that have already been told
the older I grow. I grow more corrupt and so very **** cold
All of my inner most secrets have already been exposed
Good, bad and indifferent all are juxtaposed
like this mental situation that has just never been properly Diagnosed
As I am living with the ghosts of all the monsters that have decomposed
Falling from the sky in reverse right back into every pain filled yesterday
Why does every line that I write have to sound so cliche
The bad intentions and horrible ideas I attempt to purvey
Like a flickering flame that is just starting to fade away
Here in this silence the gunshots echo and the bullets ricochet
That's why nothing that appears to be golden never really seems to stay.
I have said just what I have meant and I meant just what I said
The disease of addiction from what I have seen is completely wide spread
The complications rattle on quiet loudly inside of my head
Especially when I'm staring at my ceiling while laying wide awake in my bed
If you are looking for Mercy or decency I haven't a shred
living my entire life like I have always been about three fourths dead
That's it this poem is now quite fin. it's over and done
Things are much more difficult now that I'm no longer young and dumb
I was always told I'd die tired if ever I dared try to run
I might as well be spinning spinning spun, who knows me better than me, none
Fit to be tied must be my silver streaked tongue
yet another sorrow filled chapter of my life's story has just begun
Request permission to use this poem