I still hear the beeping of machines,
I still hear the sound of the children crying,
I still feel the pain in my stomach,
I still feel the needles taking blood for one more test,
But it was never the last.
I feel all of it as if I’m still there.
I close my eyes and I’m back in the gown
Being put under anaesthesia,
Yet a few months before it was nothing,
They told me it was anxiety,
That it was all in my head,
Yet soon after I’m lying in a hospital bed.
Appointment after appointment,
Test after test,
They say it’s all fine now,
But I’m not.
The ache in my chest every time I think about it never goes away,
Every tiny bit of pain takes me back,
Back to the machines,
Back to the children crying and the pain,
Back into that bed,
Into that gown,
It’s stuck in my head,
The looks from strangers and their sympathy,
I was a child,
Will it ever go away?
May 11
May 11, 2026 at 1:59 PM UTC
I still hear the beeping of machines,
I still hear the sound of the children crying,
I still feel the pain in my stomach,
I still feel the needles taking blood for one more test,
But it was never the last.
I feel all of it as if I’m still there.
I close my eyes and I’m back in the gown
Being put under anaesthesia,
Yet a few months before it was nothing,
They told me it was anxiety,
That it was all in my head,
Yet soon after I’m lying in a hospital bed.
Appointment after appointment,
Test after test,
They say it’s all fine now,
But I’m not.
The ache in my chest every time I think about it never goes away,
Every tiny bit of pain takes me back,
Back to the machines,
Back to the children crying and the pain,
Back into that bed,
Into that gown,
It’s stuck in my head,
The looks from strangers and their sympathy,
I was a child,
Will it ever go away?