I dont think i can ever look at love the same
After hearing the way he spoke about me
When he was high
It was a messy, twisted kind of love
Fueled by opiates and *******
Lsd and pain.
He drug me down into it with him,
A line here a tab there,
“Are you sure you don;t want
Half of this pill?”
I begged him to stop,
But i think i’ll be happier
If he never finds love
Until he;s sober again
Because then no one
Will ever get that special part of him i had
I know i fell in love with the drugs
Fell in love with how they made him act
Fell in love with how he was so in awe
That i wasn’t against them
When he knew my past.
I ended up loving the effects
The drugs had on me too.
The clammy hands, the stuffy noses,
The unending exhaustion,
I developed a dependency on the short
Bursts of serotonin they gave me.
And i hate myself for it.
Sometimes i wonder if i was happier.
I know i’m better off, theoretically.
In a relationship not dependent on
Psychedelics to keep it functioning.
A new job, a new start,
Hopefully soon a new home too,
But the nostalgia hits,
And i am forced to remember what life was like
When i was in the midst of loving the drugs.
Apr 24
Apr 24, 2026 at 9:04 AM UTC
I dont think i can ever look at love the same
After hearing the way he spoke about me
When he was high
It was a messy, twisted kind of love
Fueled by opiates and *******
Lsd and pain.
He drug me down into it with him,
A line here a tab there,
“Are you sure you don;t want
Half of this pill?”
I begged him to stop,
But i think i’ll be happier
If he never finds love
Until he;s sober again
Because then no one
Will ever get that special part of him i had
I know i fell in love with the drugs
Fell in love with how they made him act
Fell in love with how he was so in awe
That i wasn’t against them
When he knew my past.
I ended up loving the effects
The drugs had on me too.
The clammy hands, the stuffy noses,
The unending exhaustion,
I developed a dependency on the short
Bursts of serotonin they gave me.
And i hate myself for it.
Sometimes i wonder if i was happier.
I know i’m better off, theoretically.
In a relationship not dependent on
Psychedelics to keep it functioning.
A new job, a new start,
Hopefully soon a new home too,
But the nostalgia hits,
And i am forced to remember what life was like
When i was in the midst of loving the drugs.
