The sun shines through the window
The budding trees sway in the breeze
Life has awoken from winter
Purpose and new life is filling the land
On this spring morning in the silent perfection
there should be hope and meaning
Yet I sit here in the dark
A shell of what I once was
A canyon inside with a single echo. Help.
A hole in my heart and a heavy burden
Visions of a life that was meant for me
I reach out my hand and nearly touch it
Then watch it fade and disappear
It returns, it goes, it returns, it goes
This perpetual torture, I look for its maker.
I search and search, who is doing this to me?
Then I find him. In the mirror.
The cycle restarts, the purpose, the joy, the meaning returns.
I reach to touch it and as always. It fades.
The light goes out. It’s dark. It’s cold.
I retreat into my bubble. Seeking safety.
Then it consumes me.
The thick icy sharp blanket that is guilt.
I see her. I see her with him. I see her happy.
I watch as she grows, I watch as she loves.
I wish I had my place back.
The agony takes over.
The memories we share, the habits we formed
The endless laughs, the tears of joy
The food, the drink, the touch, the smiles
The warmth, the comfort, the healing.
I can nearly reach it on this spring morning.
I can almost feel like it’s real.
But as always it fades. Empty is here. And shall remain.
Until she makes me whole again.
The silence so loud.
The darkness so bright
The consistent pain. It’s all your fault.
Purgatory is your destiny. Decisions were made,
Dinner was served it was time to eat
You threw the plate at the wall when your belly could have been full
you made your choice.
Empty. You’re forever empty. Until she makes you whole again.
Apr 7
Apr 7, 2026 at 7:00 AM UTC
The sun shines through the window
The budding trees sway in the breeze
Life has awoken from winter
Purpose and new life is filling the land
On this spring morning in the silent perfection
there should be hope and meaning
Yet I sit here in the dark
A shell of what I once was
A canyon inside with a single echo. Help.
A hole in my heart and a heavy burden
Visions of a life that was meant for me
I reach out my hand and nearly touch it
Then watch it fade and disappear
It returns, it goes, it returns, it goes
This perpetual torture, I look for its maker.
I search and search, who is doing this to me?
Then I find him. In the mirror.
The cycle restarts, the purpose, the joy, the meaning returns.
I reach to touch it and as always. It fades.
The light goes out. It’s dark. It’s cold.
I retreat into my bubble. Seeking safety.
Then it consumes me.
The thick icy sharp blanket that is guilt.
I see her. I see her with him. I see her happy.
I watch as she grows, I watch as she loves.
I wish I had my place back.
The agony takes over.
The memories we share, the habits we formed
The endless laughs, the tears of joy
The food, the drink, the touch, the smiles
The warmth, the comfort, the healing.
I can nearly reach it on this spring morning.
I can almost feel like it’s real.
But as always it fades. Empty is here. And shall remain.
Until she makes me whole again.
The silence so loud.
The darkness so bright
The consistent pain. It’s all your fault.
Purgatory is your destiny. Decisions were made,
Dinner was served it was time to eat
You threw the plate at the wall when your belly could have been full
you made your choice.
Empty. You’re forever empty. Until she makes you whole again.