The sun shines through the window
The budding trees sway in the breeze
Life has awoken from winter
Purpose and new life is filling the land
On this spring morning in the silent perfection
there should be hope and meaning
Yet I sit here in the dark
A shell of what I once was
A canyon inside with a single echo. Help.
A hole in my heart and a heavy burden
Visions of a life that was meant for me
I reach out my hand and nearly touch it
Then watch it fade and disappear
It returns, it goes, it returns, it goes
This perpetual torture, I look for its maker.
I search and search, who is doing this to me?
Then I find him. In the mirror.
The cycle restarts, the purpose, the joy, the meaning returns.
I reach to touch it and as always. It fades.
The light goes out. It’s dark. It’s cold.
I retreat into my bubble. Seeking safety.
Then it consumes me.
The thick icy sharp blanket that is guilt.
I see her. I see her with him. I see her happy.
I watch as she grows, I watch as she loves.
I wish I had my place back.
The agony takes over.
The memories we share, the habits we formed
The endless laughs, the tears of joy
The food, the drink, the touch, the smiles
The warmth, the comfort, the healing.
I can nearly reach it on this spring morning.
I can almost feel like it’s real.
But as always it fades. Empty is here. And shall remain.
Until she makes me whole again.
The silence so loud.
The darkness so bright
The consistent pain. It’s all your fault.
Purgatory is your destiny. Decisions were made,
Dinner was served it was time to eat
You threw the plate at the wall when your belly could have been full
you made your choice.
Empty. You’re forever empty. Until she makes you whole again.
Apr 7
Apr 7, 2026 at 7:00 AM UTC
You fell empty? Feel its time to dwell?
Dont ever ponder....hope for the wishing well.
Take charge of your spirit.
Take charge of your soul.
Take charge of your life....just fill that hole.
It's not as bad as you think
Even at the brink
You feel empty? Pull the plug out the sink.
Feb 5, 2020
Feb 5, 2020 at 1:13 AM UTC
Your breath gets taken
your chest is tight.
you try to grasp
with all your might
the world gets dark the light is gone.
you wonder what you did wrong.
is this the end is life really ending
you start to reflect on all the pretending
then all of a sudden with a mighty gasp.
you get your breath back. oh gosh. at last.
your heart rate lowers you're finally back.
thank God it was just a panic attack.
Aug 31, 2019
Aug 31, 2019 at 8:21 AM UTC
Woke up and a feel rough
Lord knows that a drank enough
In way past midnight
Looking out to the day light
Need to rebuild my energy
Cuppa t is the remedy
When a man's from Yorkshire
No milk is torture
Wanna go back to bed
Have a nap like im dead
Had too much whisky
Scotch is always risky
Then was drinking red wine
Deffo not fee ling fine
"Goes to my heaaaaad"
Is an under statement
My head fell off on the pavement
Never wanna drink again tell me what you think again now I wanna start again shoulda smoked the reef instead
Now I really need hydration
Or maybe migration
Did i say something bad
Did I make someone mad
Woke up and I feel rough
Lord knows that I drank enough
Aug 31, 2019
Aug 31, 2019 at 7:09 AM UTC