As I get older
I slowly pull the plug
To my faint memories
Of those days during kindergarten
Those were the best days
I would go get pizza
At the corner of my house
But now
That pizza shop is closed
and it has been
for years and years and years.
The memories of being in the school playground
Children's laughs are still echoing in my ear
Those hot rubber mats always gave me tans
So sometimes I would hide under the slide
to shade from the sun
But now that playground is empty
and it has been
for years and years and years.
If only time could wait for me
I have caused many mistakes
Some of them can't be undone
If only time had a rewind button
then I could fix what was broken
It seems that time went on fast forward instead
And that is the only thing that it does
School and summer passing by
How is it already my birthday?
Was it just the start of school three days ago?
I can't keep up with the tape of life
My head is spinning from the speed
My mind is twisting from the events
I can't think any more like I used to
It's a shame how I used to think
"Nothing will change"
"Everything is fine"
Suddenly my friend is moving
Suddenly I get ghosted by someone
Suddenly I break my other friend's promise
Time never waits.
Death never waits.
I see that the tape of life is short
Shorter than a centimeter
One blink and you're already thirteen
No time to process it
You just age.
Before you know it
I will be 20
Then 30
Then 60
Then 80
Then I will die
Each moment is important
Imagine those who are already 60
or 80
You never know
How much time
they have left
How much longer
they can withstand
They can just
Vanish...
And when they do
time covers its tracks
and you forget that your loved one
even existed before.
If only you could playback time
Be at the happiest moments
When and where you want to be
I want to go back to the good old days
The days where I didn't feel stress
The days where I never felt upset
The days where I was finally happy
To my 5-year-old self,
You got your wish to grow up
But it is not what you think
There is more freedom
But also, more work
Less fun time
Luckily, I am still a kid
But with a lot of mental issues
My autistic brain doesn't process things right
It drives people away
I have a lot of suicidal thoughts
So, I just hide from the world most of the time
I can't get out of my shell
I am scared to grow up
I want to be like you again
If only I could go back
If only I could be young again
Mar 30
Mar 30, 2026 at 7:58 PM UTC
As I get older
I slowly pull the plug
To my faint memories
Of those days during kindergarten
Those were the best days
I would go get pizza
At the corner of my house
But now
That pizza shop is closed
and it has been
for years and years and years.
The memories of being in the school playground
Children's laughs are still echoing in my ear
Those hot rubber mats always gave me tans
So sometimes I would hide under the slide
to shade from the sun
But now that playground is empty
and it has been
for years and years and years.
If only time could wait for me
I have caused many mistakes
Some of them can't be undone
If only time had a rewind button
then I could fix what was broken
It seems that time went on fast forward instead
And that is the only thing that it does
School and summer passing by
How is it already my birthday?
Was it just the start of school three days ago?
I can't keep up with the tape of life
My head is spinning from the speed
My mind is twisting from the events
I can't think any more like I used to
It's a shame how I used to think
"Nothing will change"
"Everything is fine"
Suddenly my friend is moving
Suddenly I get ghosted by someone
Suddenly I break my other friend's promise
Time never waits.
Death never waits.
I see that the tape of life is short
Shorter than a centimeter
One blink and you're already thirteen
No time to process it
You just age.
Before you know it
I will be 20
Then 30
Then 60
Then 80
Then I will die
Each moment is important
Imagine those who are already 60
or 80
You never know
How much time
they have left
How much longer
they can withstand
They can just
Vanish...
And when they do
time covers its tracks
and you forget that your loved one
even existed before.
If only you could playback time
Be at the happiest moments
When and where you want to be
I want to go back to the good old days
The days where I didn't feel stress
The days where I never felt upset
The days where I was finally happy
To my 5-year-old self,
You got your wish to grow up
But it is not what you think
There is more freedom
But also, more work
Less fun time
Luckily, I am still a kid
But with a lot of mental issues
My autistic brain doesn't process things right
It drives people away
I have a lot of suicidal thoughts
So, I just hide from the world most of the time
I can't get out of my shell
I am scared to grow up
I want to be like you again
If only I could go back
If only I could be young again
3/30/26
Dear older Adam, if you are still doing this, you made me cry. I wish I could be younger again too. Keep up the good work and I am so proud of you! :)
Best regards,
Young Adam :D
4/6/26
Dear young Adam, you are my favorite person. Keep in mind, your birthday will be the best birthday ever! Also, you are going to see three of your closest friends that weekend. Thank you for your help :)
Sincerely,
Older Adam :D
