Can someone explain to me why loving yourself after trauma is so hard to do?
You go through the motions, you try to love yourself again and nothing changes all the damage done to you.
I try to tell myself it only happens to the strongest soldiers of life, “you’re a warrior, you won the battle”
“Don’t you dare allow it to cause your foundation to rattle”
“You’re better than that”
But the hurt is still there.
I see it in my new relationships that ARE healthy. I see it in my interactions with my own family.
I just wonder when the pain of everything in my past will cease to exist so I can just be happy.
I self sabotage everything good in my life expecting something to shake its solid foundation. I look for things that might just cause some “irritation.”
I pray every night “god, heal this broken heart of mine.” Yet I’m the one who can’t seem to recognize the beauty in sunshine.
I swear it’s a curse to feel so much so deeply. But is it?
Am I lucky to see the beauty and the pain In the world so clearly ?
Mar 21
Mar 21, 2026 at 3:35 AM UTC
Can someone explain to me why loving yourself after trauma is so hard to do?
You go through the motions, you try to love yourself again and nothing changes all the damage done to you.
I try to tell myself it only happens to the strongest soldiers of life, “you’re a warrior, you won the battle”
“Don’t you dare allow it to cause your foundation to rattle”
“You’re better than that”
But the hurt is still there.
I see it in my new relationships that ARE healthy. I see it in my interactions with my own family.
I just wonder when the pain of everything in my past will cease to exist so I can just be happy.
I self sabotage everything good in my life expecting something to shake its solid foundation. I look for things that might just cause some “irritation.”
I pray every night “god, heal this broken heart of mine.” Yet I’m the one who can’t seem to recognize the beauty in sunshine.
I swear it’s a curse to feel so much so deeply. But is it?
Am I lucky to see the beauty and the pain In the world so clearly ?
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