When I was 15
I wanted to be sick
Thought I was invisible
And my skin was paper thick
I wanted to be low
And weak
To be noticed
To at least be seen
Cause I felt
Alone
Nothing felt like home
I wanted to be sick
And dying
Because who could try and
See past the mirrors
In my mind
In my heart and
To claw with my hands
My fragile skin
And mind
With anchors
Of my own design
Was easier
Than arguing
With the indecision
That traps me in my mind
So I wanted to be sick
To the point of collapse
So I tried my best
Until I felt frail
But they still didn’t see
And all I was was hungry
But I learned
The hunger pain
Quieted the indecision
Because choices become clearer
When you have no energy
To make them
And I liked being skinny
And I liked being in control
I was so empty
But somehow so full
And I knew I had to stop
But no one could see
I was killing myself
How could they not notice?
I guess people can’t hear screams for help when all you do is whisper.
And now,
I survived
And I no longer want to be sick
God helps me fight the girl I once was
From dragging me back down
She wanted to be sick
So they would see
The pain behind her eyes
But she always was,
With her beautiful, sick mind
Mar 14
Mar 14, 2026 at 9:50 AM UTC
When I was 15
I wanted to be sick
Thought I was invisible
And my skin was paper thick
I wanted to be low
And weak
To be noticed
To at least be seen
Cause I felt
Alone
Nothing felt like home
I wanted to be sick
And dying
Because who could try and
See past the mirrors
In my mind
In my heart and
To claw with my hands
My fragile skin
And mind
With anchors
Of my own design
Was easier
Than arguing
With the indecision
That traps me in my mind
So I wanted to be sick
To the point of collapse
So I tried my best
Until I felt frail
But they still didn’t see
And all I was was hungry
But I learned
The hunger pain
Quieted the indecision
Because choices become clearer
When you have no energy
To make them
And I liked being skinny
And I liked being in control
I was so empty
But somehow so full
And I knew I had to stop
But no one could see
I was killing myself
How could they not notice?
I guess people can’t hear screams for help when all you do is whisper.
And now,
I survived
And I no longer want to be sick
God helps me fight the girl I once was
From dragging me back down
She wanted to be sick
So they would see
The pain behind her eyes
But she always was,
With her beautiful, sick mind