When the words I say leave my mouth,
but never reach your ears,
it exhausts me,
to keep trying to speak.
When the feelings overwhelm me,
and my body starts to shake,
it makes me fearful,
of what I'm yet to be.
And I ripped my self-esteem to shreds,
as well as my confidence and ego-head.
I tore every part of what I loved,
about being a person,
under the female gaze.
I built palaces in my mind despite it being a mess,
I spent months sleeping on a broken bed,
I fight and fight all my anger suppressed inside,
why do men always like, to hurt and lie?
While I was drowning you didn't see,
you just saw every other being.
I'm not saying to forget,
the people in your lives,
though I'd beg for you to try.
While I hated my reflection daily,
you called another woman pretty,
when I felt less and less,
you kept making more mistakes,
saying "oops it's okay!".
And I ripped my self esteem to shreds,
comparing myself to every single one of them.
Where is the connection?
people are so shallow,
We've become so transactional.
I built palaces in my mind despite it being a mess,
I spent months sleeping on a broken bed,
I fight and fight all my anger suppressed inside,
why do men always like, to hurt and lie?
I have thought daily on the blood flowing down,
from the love on my sleeves to my heart.
I wondered how ironic it would be to see,
me dye my hair red with all this agony!
I built palaces in my mind despite it being so alone,
I spent months sleeping on a broken bed,
crying and not letting go.
I fight and fight all my anger suppressed inside,
some days I wished I had died,
back when I was hurt,
just so I don't have to live anymore.
anymore.
anymore.
anymore.
I built palaces in my mind despite it being a mess...
Feb 19
Feb 19, 2026 at 7:08 PM UTC
When the words I say leave my mouth,
but never reach your ears,
it exhausts me,
to keep trying to speak.
When the feelings overwhelm me,
and my body starts to shake,
it makes me fearful,
of what I'm yet to be.
And I ripped my self-esteem to shreds,
as well as my confidence and ego-head.
I tore every part of what I loved,
about being a person,
under the female gaze.
I built palaces in my mind despite it being a mess,
I spent months sleeping on a broken bed,
I fight and fight all my anger suppressed inside,
why do men always like, to hurt and lie?
While I was drowning you didn't see,
you just saw every other being.
I'm not saying to forget,
the people in your lives,
though I'd beg for you to try.
While I hated my reflection daily,
you called another woman pretty,
when I felt less and less,
you kept making more mistakes,
saying "oops it's okay!".
And I ripped my self esteem to shreds,
comparing myself to every single one of them.
Where is the connection?
people are so shallow,
We've become so transactional.
I built palaces in my mind despite it being a mess,
I spent months sleeping on a broken bed,
I fight and fight all my anger suppressed inside,
why do men always like, to hurt and lie?
I have thought daily on the blood flowing down,
from the love on my sleeves to my heart.
I wondered how ironic it would be to see,
me dye my hair red with all this agony!
I built palaces in my mind despite it being so alone,
I spent months sleeping on a broken bed,
crying and not letting go.
I fight and fight all my anger suppressed inside,
some days I wished I had died,
back when I was hurt,
just so I don't have to live anymore.
anymore.
anymore.
anymore.
I built palaces in my mind despite it being a mess...
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