Night now scares me,
to the core, sleep now haunts me.
My mind is out of my control.
I pray,
I pray to lord to take care of me,
while feeling disgusting.
All those thoughts and memories
now feel like bruises on myself.
All I do is numb myself.
My heart runs at a pace,
as if trying to make me feel safe.
Nothing now feels new anymore.
My brain freezes, my heart races,
my legs kick the blanket
and the pain in my chest worsens.
I finally open my mouth to breath,
but my brain turns blur.
Now deep breaths don't work
unless and until I am done punishing myself.
The dogs barking don't affect me now,
as i hear someone cry beside my pain,
as though the night borrowed my voice.
Feb 19
Feb 19, 2026 at 3:28 PM UTC
Night now scares me,
to the core, sleep now haunts me.
My mind is out of my control.
I pray,
I pray to lord to take care of me,
while feeling disgusting.
All those thoughts and memories
now feel like bruises on myself.
All I do is numb myself.
My heart runs at a pace,
as if trying to make me feel safe.
Nothing now feels new anymore.
My brain freezes, my heart races,
my legs kick the blanket
and the pain in my chest worsens.
I finally open my mouth to breath,
but my brain turns blur.
Now deep breaths don't work
unless and until I am done punishing myself.
The dogs barking don't affect me now,
as i hear someone cry beside my pain,
as though the night borrowed my voice.
A piece about how nights feel louder than days.
About racing hearts, blurred thoughts, and the silence that listens back.
