Night now scares me,
to the core, sleep now haunts me.
My mind is out of my control.
I pray,
I pray to lord to take care of me,
while feeling disgusting.
All those thoughts and memories
now feel like bruises on myself.
All I do is numb myself.
My heart runs at a pace,
as if trying to make me feel safe.
Nothing now feels new anymore.
My brain freezes, my heart races,
my legs kick the blanket
and the pain in my chest worsens.
I finally open my mouth to breath,
but my brain turns blur.
Now deep breaths don't work
unless and until I am done punishing myself.
The dogs barking don't affect me now,
as i hear someone cry beside my pain,
as though the night borrowed my voice.
Feb 19
Feb 19, 2026 at 3:28 PM UTC
I open my eyes,
with the hope to live a better day.
A few breaths in,
and I remember the last night-
night, or the worst fear.
When you are tired, struggling to sleep,
when you know you have so much to say,
but still hit the bed, reassuring yourself:
there will come a day.
When the thoughts take over,
when the blanket absorbs your tears,
when your whole life lies ahead of you,
but all you see is darkness.
The cruel darkness- the one that made me cry,
to the extent that breathing felt like a task.
The night that made fear my home,
the night that made anger my excuse to sleep.
The night when I experienced my first panic attack,
not knowing what it was.
Fear calmed the rage of my anger.
The night when I woke up, started crying.
The night when my anger made me sleep
and my fear whispered, we will get through this.
And yet, every morning,
the thought of the night
makes me grateful it ended.
Feb 12
Feb 12, 2026 at 12:11 PM UTC
Someone asked
Do you even know what it feels like to be in a toxic relationship?
"Yes" I replied - in my mind
I am loved by fear,
so deeply
that now it defines me.
Fear gives me the warmth
to run away from things, people, situation.
It always keeps me safe - away from everyone.
Fear is home now.
Life has been easier since fear entered.
All I ever have to say is,
"Sorry, I cant"
Knowing it is destroying me everyday,
where do I find the courage
to ask fear to leave ?
Feb 10
Feb 10, 2026 at 1:30 PM UTC
Everyone said she looked naive, she looked childish, she looked fear, she looked brave, she looked sad, she looked happy and now finally she doesn't looks like herself...she had changed!
YES I changed cause now I wanted to look for myself, not like someone else but like myself..
the one who is unaware of her future, privileged for her present, uncertain about her dreams, and tacky like a movie scene.
She is not someone who wins all those little-big battles in her world
But she is the reason for making herself overcome all those in that sphere!
Now set to fly high, she remembers the burden of being like someone,
Someone who was not her, someone who she never wanted to be!
The moment she realized,
she was shaped by the narratives near her...the fear vanquished!
Went so far that now she identifies herself as the,
The calm shore who is now not silent knowing it's worth.
The one like moon who is here to shine,
bright like a red wine.
The one so kind to be capable enough to love herself as she distanced those broken veils!
The one like a happy kid enjoying all the magic she created for herself.
The one who still loves movies and want her life to be like one!
And now she finally says I am exactly MYSELF!
Feb 10
Feb 10, 2026 at 1:30 PM UTC
A letter to the words that never reached my Ears.
Thank you for staying
when the courage slammed its door on my face,
when my eyes blinked
and all I saw was darkness.
When my palm
could no longer feel my nails bite,
when breathing felt suffocating
and I thought I was in hell again.
When my knees pressed to my chest
and I screamed the loudest in my head,
when the blame rushed back to me,
all I could say was nothing.
When the eyes in rage
softened into pain,
hoping everything
would be washed away in the rain.
And the first that calmed me
was a voice in my mind:
"We will get through this all again."
I held my hands tight
to the strength of these words-
words that I wished could have reached my ears-
not mine,
but me.
Jan 11
Jan 11, 2026 at 5:18 AM UTC
I love the sound my heart makes,
adoring those eyes with a fond glaze.
My smile flourished
unable to be masked,
As the distance between us was now the closeness.
My breath blushes as it slips down my throat,
as my eyes met the fortune I adore the most.
A thousands of tiny butterflies rose within me,
as I watched you treasuring smile adore me.
My heart battles my mind,
as I struggle to find the right words to say.
Words that could capture,
the gentle beauty of comfort she feels,
when I look at her.
And my heart just skipped a beat,
as I felt your soft feather light skin.
Now with your hand in mine,
I see a whole world within your eyes,
safe and already mine.
Dec 29, 2025
Dec 29, 2025 at 2:22 PM UTC
Every moment today lives as light,
light to relive those moments again in today’s dark.
To smile like a ray of morning gold,
without realizing it’s a dream,
A dream I wish to be true every time I pray.
The days I visit so my heart knows it’s home,
Home to my memories.
Nostalgia returns when the winds blush,
or when the rain showers
and my eyes shine bright,
setting your footprints on my heart,
Not long until my heart’s homeland
learns to hold it tightly
in my home of memories.
Dec 19, 2025
Dec 19, 2025 at 2:27 PM UTC
The happy flower blooms when the sun shines.
The sun sets only when the calm moon is ready to rise.
When the clouds carry too much,
they adorn themselves with darkness, preparing to pour.
And when there’s too much, a wave appears—
and I run to the shore.
We call it the beauty of interdependency.
But have you ever wondered what would happen
if the sun didn’t shine,
the moon didn’t rise,
the clouds didn’t pour,
and you never had to run towards the shore?
I wondered too—
I imagined it, I lived it,
and it was beautiful.
If I were that flower,
I would still bloom without the sunshine.
For I am my own happiness;
I am my own sunshine.
I bloom more now than ever—
no longer holding someone else accountable
for what has always lived within me.
Even if the moon didn’t rise,
I would remain calm,
grateful for the colors of the sunset—
the quiet phases of my life.
And if the clouds didn’t pour
and I had to carry everything alone,
I would be brave—
brave enough to embrace the weight
and still bloom like a flower,
lit by my own sunshine.
And what if I never had to run to the shore?
I might fumble,
but I would stay—
letting the pain dissolve into the wave.
Soaking in its calmness,
I would walk to the shore—
not to escape,
but to explore my life.
Dec 7, 2025
Dec 7, 2025 at 6:07 AM UTC