I’ve come unmoored
Unsure
Unfocused
Unsettled
I can’t decide the best path
In a landscape so new
Living in limbo
Wanting more
Wanting less
All at the same time
My past begs me to shut down
Pull back
Give up
Retreat
My scars whisper ominous predictions of future pain
More time together means certain doom
If he sees me more, he’ll see my flaws
And start to hate me
He’ll get mean
He’ll look at me with disgust
His irritation will boil over
The stakes feel too high
going through that a second time
would break me for good
I need to be good on my own
I am good on my own
But then those sweet moments of unalone
They crack open something inside me
Something I thought was lost
A need I am scared to face
What if the safety of solitude isn’t worth missing out on the highs of togetherness
As my one true love grows up
Needing me less and less
Wanting my time less and less
I’m desperate to fill that void
I feel myself floundering
But
I don’t believe in love
I don’t believe in love
I don’t believe in love
What do I need to anchor me in this world
Will I blow away, an insignificant leaf
if I don’t tie myself to a partner
I was flying high and free
Didn’t realize how cold I was
Until his warm arms held me
Like a divine lullaby
His voice vibrated against my cheek
The thrill of him wanting me
Woke up a need in me, an aching need
A need that unsettles me
And steals my sleep
And leaves me longing
for touch
for more
Can I continue to satisfy this need without losing my peace
Why must every pleasure come with a cost
Does every pleasure come with a cost
What am I doing
What should I do next
Is it even up to me
It feels it is time to sink or swim
Floating to survive is no longer an option
© 2026 SincerelyJoanWrites
Feb 15
Feb 15, 2026 at 9:06 AM UTC
I’ve come unmoored
Unsure
Unfocused
Unsettled
I can’t decide the best path
In a landscape so new
Living in limbo
Wanting more
Wanting less
All at the same time
My past begs me to shut down
Pull back
Give up
Retreat
My scars whisper ominous predictions of future pain
More time together means certain doom
If he sees me more, he’ll see my flaws
And start to hate me
He’ll get mean
He’ll look at me with disgust
His irritation will boil over
The stakes feel too high
going through that a second time
would break me for good
I need to be good on my own
I am good on my own
But then those sweet moments of unalone
They crack open something inside me
Something I thought was lost
A need I am scared to face
What if the safety of solitude isn’t worth missing out on the highs of togetherness
As my one true love grows up
Needing me less and less
Wanting my time less and less
I’m desperate to fill that void
I feel myself floundering
But
I don’t believe in love
I don’t believe in love
I don’t believe in love
What do I need to anchor me in this world
Will I blow away, an insignificant leaf
if I don’t tie myself to a partner
I was flying high and free
Didn’t realize how cold I was
Until his warm arms held me
Like a divine lullaby
His voice vibrated against my cheek
The thrill of him wanting me
Woke up a need in me, an aching need
A need that unsettles me
And steals my sleep
And leaves me longing
for touch
for more
Can I continue to satisfy this need without losing my peace
Why must every pleasure come with a cost
Does every pleasure come with a cost
What am I doing
What should I do next
Is it even up to me
It feels it is time to sink or swim
Floating to survive is no longer an option
© 2026 SincerelyJoanWrites
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