It used to be constant but i got over it. It took a while, it didn't disappear, it couldn't. There were times when it was still there, just less of it. It was background noise, constantly lingering, a constant static that spoke up to whisper the vexatious thoughts that caused the debilitating feelings. It wasn't constant anymore.
I didn't feel pathetic nor panicked, not when walking, or talking or breathing or living. I thought it had left, packed up and gone for good. I thought it was temporary.
I didn't think it would be here.
There was even a period of time that it was fully gone. I could function. I could speak. I wasn't freezing up. I could hold conversations. I thought i was better. I could feel, speak, talk, and communicate. There wasn't an indefinite debilitating silence.
Then it came back. Not quietly creeping in. No. It couldn't be so kind.
It was like the floor opened from under me and swallowed me whole.
I'm back in that black hole.
Maybe i never left.
Feb 7
Feb 7, 2026 at 11:12 AM UTC
It used to be constant but i got over it. It took a while, it didn't disappear, it couldn't. There were times when it was still there, just less of it. It was background noise, constantly lingering, a constant static that spoke up to whisper the vexatious thoughts that caused the debilitating feelings. It wasn't constant anymore.
I didn't feel pathetic nor panicked, not when walking, or talking or breathing or living. I thought it had left, packed up and gone for good. I thought it was temporary.
I didn't think it would be here.
There was even a period of time that it was fully gone. I could function. I could speak. I wasn't freezing up. I could hold conversations. I thought i was better. I could feel, speak, talk, and communicate. There wasn't an indefinite debilitating silence.
Then it came back. Not quietly creeping in. No. It couldn't be so kind.
It was like the floor opened from under me and swallowed me whole.
I'm back in that black hole.
Maybe i never left.
