I had dinner with myself 21 times last night
Each year of my life showed up
17 came in young naive looking for love in any doorway
18 and 19 walked in cold hardened not a single word out of them
1 and 2 where sitting at the end getting fed by 14
Who was already to grown for her age
3 is shifting anxious constantly playing with the narcan that would make her a hero
While 4 and 5 are tending to the bruises they didn’t deserve
15 and 16 she angry her words like venom that was never to be heard
13 she’s quietly blaming herself I wish I could get her to stop
6 and 7 they won’t stop talking about how they wanted to be writers
While 8 and 9 scribbled in pads aimlessly stringing along words
And 20 she was making big decisions ones I’d maybe regret
And I was sat at the head of the table the
smile on my lips
Because some people there eating this meal alone
But I have 21 of my closest friends around my table
So maybe we can all get through this
Having 21 years none could relate
But all had stories to add to the others
And I smiled and cried as 3 said she was proud
*** we finally got out
And I said “hurry up and get seconds guys
Before 22 gets here”
Feb 5
Feb 5, 2026 at 10:36 AM UTC
I had dinner with myself 21 times last night
Each year of my life showed up
17 came in young naive looking for love in any doorway
18 and 19 walked in cold hardened not a single word out of them
1 and 2 where sitting at the end getting fed by 14
Who was already to grown for her age
3 is shifting anxious constantly playing with the narcan that would make her a hero
While 4 and 5 are tending to the bruises they didn’t deserve
15 and 16 she angry her words like venom that was never to be heard
13 she’s quietly blaming herself I wish I could get her to stop
6 and 7 they won’t stop talking about how they wanted to be writers
While 8 and 9 scribbled in pads aimlessly stringing along words
And 20 she was making big decisions ones I’d maybe regret
And I was sat at the head of the table the
smile on my lips
Because some people there eating this meal alone
But I have 21 of my closest friends around my table
So maybe we can all get through this
Having 21 years none could relate
But all had stories to add to the others
And I smiled and cried as 3 said she was proud
*** we finally got out
And I said “hurry up and get seconds guys
Before 22 gets here”
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