Hello Poetry
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Hey YOU It's me, your lastborn I know you probably dont know me, or maybe you never cared enough to know, but lately I feel my heart getting heavy. I have more questions than answers about my life- my whole existance and nobody wants to answer them. I find myself struggling to decipher who I am, and where exactly I belong I've concluded that We are strangers who so happen to be related by blood Growing up, I never realised I didn't have a dad Mom made up for your absence She never talked about you and im starting to think Maybe it was for the best. As I grew older, your absence became more noticeable I knew your name, but your face was a blur When I asked after you, My mom would say to look in the mirror You look exactly like your father... So ever so often, I'll sneak a peek to remind myself of how you look... I started imagining I had a father who wanted me around Was it wrong of me to want to feel wanted... I blamed myself for your absence I felt like I wasn't good enough Then I met your brother He was so kind and welcoming For the first time, I felt 'whole' He encouraged us to reach out to you I remember the first time When I saw you I remember the joy I felt in my heart I thought mom won't have to struggle with us as much We waited for you for hrs I remember seeing your face that day Every expression that you did It was like we shouldn't have come and all over again I could feel my heart shattering I couldn't understand why you didn't want me? Why was I not worthy of your love? Why was it so hard for you to be my father...? Then my uncle died I cried myself to sleep that night and every night since I never got to thank him for his love and for so openly welcoming us into his life, for treating me like his own daughter. I knew his death not only meant I lost my father figure, but I was a nobody again, I didn't belong... As I grew older, I stopped craving for your presence, but I still wanted you to want me. I remember thinking that if I did extremely well, you would see my worth, but you kept your distance and pretended I didn't exist, like I was someone you made up, something that could easily be erased.
0
Feb 3
Feb 3, 2026 at 11:30 PM UTC
Expectations
Hey YOU It's me, your lastborn I know you probably dont know me, or maybe you never cared enough to know, but lately I feel my heart getting heavy. I have more questions than answers about my life- my whole existance and nobody wants to answer them. I find myself struggling to decipher who I am, and where exactly I belong I've concluded that We are strangers who so happen to be related by blood Growing up, I never realised I didn't have a dad Mom made up for your absence She never talked about you and im starting to think Maybe it was for the best. As I grew older, your absence became more noticeable I knew your name, but your face was a blur When I asked after you, My mom would say to look in the mirror You look exactly like your father... So ever so often, I'll sneak a peek to remind myself of how you look... I started imagining I had a father who wanted me around Was it wrong of me to want to feel wanted... I blamed myself for your absence I felt like I wasn't good enough Then I met your brother He was so kind and welcoming For the first time, I felt 'whole' He encouraged us to reach out to you I remember the first time When I saw you I remember the joy I felt in my heart I thought mom won't have to struggle with us as much We waited for you for hrs I remember seeing your face that day Every expression that you did It was like we shouldn't have come and all over again I could feel my heart shattering I couldn't understand why you didn't want me? Why was I not worthy of your love? Why was it so hard for you to be my father...? Then my uncle died I cried myself to sleep that night and every night since I never got to thank him for his love and for so openly welcoming us into his life, for treating me like his own daughter. I knew his death not only meant I lost my father figure, but I was a nobody again, I didn't belong... As I grew older, I stopped craving for your presence, but I still wanted you to want me. I remember thinking that if I did extremely well, you would see my worth, but you kept your distance and pretended I didn't exist, like I was someone you made up, something that could easily be erased.
Eva01
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Feb 3
Feb 3, 2026 at 11:30 PM UTC
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