What's it like?
to be born into a family that
Adores you?
What's it like
to wake up every day
and actually feel like
You're living
What's it like
to have a mother
That doesn't hit you
Every time she feels like
What's it like
to feel like
You actually matter
that you belong here...
Every day I ask myself these questions
Maybe one day I'll be able to answer them
I just know it won't be today...
Mar 26
Mar 26, 2026 at 11:50 AM UTC
They say 'to serve and to protect'
But answer me this
Who are they serving?
What are they protecting?
Is it the idea that black men deserve
to be beaten for trying to elevate themselves?
Or maybe it's the dream of white men to
see us fail...?
And what if it's both?
They enjoy seeing us struggle and fighting for a purpose
They know isn't real
They make us teach our children
That being black isn't
good enough
that our kind must live with our heads over our shoulders
Afraid that one day,
They will hunt us down
and put us 6 feet under
Or for those of us considered lucky
sentenced to life for the crime--
Skin colour
leaving another mother to raise 15 children
without their father.
Yet to make it sound like there is no problem
Headlining all newspapers
"FREEDOM FOR ALL'
but in silence
You continue to knock us down
You see, unlike you
We were born in a system that was
built to work against us
So please stop saying
"We're equals".
For 25 years, my husband Walter,
worked himself to
death
Just so you were satisfied enough
which allowed us to have a future.
He would say that "someday
Things wouldn't always be this way
We would have a big house
in one of those white neighbourhoods"
And even though we both knew this wasn't true
He wanted those kids to have a dream,
to work towards something he never did,
Not to live life
Accepting what's been handed to them
So for 25 years,
He would put on this big smile
and acted like everything was fine
But when it was just him and me
He would stare at the door and whisper
"Uncle Sam, don't come for me tonight"
But they pulled the plug anyway.
They're giving us how much Walter's was worth tomorrow
I'm thinking about keeping his dream for those kids alive
He said we'll make it to the top someday
I just never thought it would be
his death that allowed it to happen.
Feb 11
Feb 11, 2026 at 7:52 PM UTC
1.
I put up walls
to see who cares,
I put up walls
to protect myself,
I don't want to be taken advantage of
So I dont let anyone in
at least, not that easy
I use my mouth
as a weapon
to find love
cause if they loved me, they would stay
I know my dad is getting tired of this act
And my sister wants to be given away
But shouldn't I be happy??
I behave the way I do,
not to push people away
cause deep down
I do want to get married
but for love, not my father's money
2.
Then this guy came into town
asking for my hand
I knew he could be the one, but
He has to go through the challenge
He seemed okay
so much that he drives me insane
He made everything I said so beautiful
the way he talked
the way he moved
made me believe the search was finally over
Then he announced the wedding
I didn't agree to
I knew I had to say something
even though I wanted it to come true
3.
The day was finally here
I wore my mother's jewellery
the one she wore to her wedding
I walked down the aisle
stood there for hours
waiting on a man
who might not come
to a wedding HE planned
My feet were getting sore
My heart was pounding faster than before
my eyes wondering
Where could he be?
Why would he do this to me?
This can not get any worse
He showed up at the wedding
When everyone was about to leave
I felt embarrassed
just be looking at him
He had the heart to come dressed
like someone who had nothing
There was no way I was going to marry him
im not giving up my fairytale wedding
But I realised what he said was true...
"im marrying the man
not the suit".
4.
Everything was going as planned
until I found out he owned a taming school
where he turned shrews into housewives
The methods he used were so cruel
not feeding me,
not allowing me to sleep
treating me like an animal
Is that all im worth??
Is that all I am to you??
im not a shew, you know
I just acted like one
to find love
so theres no reason for you to
try and tame
I tried to prove myself to him
But everything I do
he seem not to notice
That I did it out of love
not by his methods
I see how he tries to control everything I do
and brags to his friends about
my obedience,
My allowing him to do as he wishes
My coming at his every command
Not questioning his decisions
I just want him to know that
im not playing the role of a "shrew" anymore
I have ALWAYS been tamed.
Feb 10
Feb 10, 2026 at 10:21 PM UTC
Hey YOU
It's me, your lastborn
I know you probably dont know me, or maybe you never cared enough to know, but lately I feel my heart getting heavy.
I have more questions than answers about my life- my whole existance and nobody wants to answer them.
I find myself struggling to decipher who I am, and where exactly I belong
I've concluded that
We are strangers who so happen to be
related by blood
Growing up, I never realised I didn't have a dad
Mom made up for your absence
She never talked about you
and im starting to think
Maybe it was for the best.
As I grew older, your absence became more noticeable
I knew your name, but your face was a blur
When I asked after you,
My mom would say to look in the mirror
You look exactly like your father...
So ever so often, I'll sneak a peek
to remind myself of how you look...
I started imagining I had a father who wanted me around
Was it wrong of me to want to feel wanted...
I blamed myself for your absence
I felt like I wasn't good enough
Then I met your brother
He was so kind and welcoming
For the first time, I felt 'whole'
He encouraged us to reach out to you
I remember the first time
When I saw you
I remember the joy I felt in my heart
I thought mom won't have to struggle with us as much
We waited for you for hrs
I remember seeing your face that day
Every expression that you did
It was like we shouldn't have come
and all over again
I could feel my heart shattering
I couldn't understand why you didn't want me?
Why was I not worthy of your love?
Why was it so hard for you to be my father...?
Then my uncle died
I cried myself to sleep that night and every night since
I never got to thank him for his love and for so openly welcoming us into his life, for treating me like his own daughter. I knew his death not only meant I lost my father figure, but I was a nobody again, I didn't belong...
As I grew older, I stopped craving for your presence, but I still wanted you to want me. I remember thinking that if I did extremely well, you would see my worth, but you kept your distance and pretended I didn't exist, like I was someone you made up, something that could easily be erased.
Feb 3
Feb 3, 2026 at 11:30 PM UTC
Mama said
"Everything should be alright
that I shouldn't worry about the family
I should go out there and bring in some money"
"Follow them" she said
and always remember, you're taking us out of poverty
just think about it...
by this time next year
we would have somewhere to call our own...
I did EVERYTHING she asked of me
But look where we still at mama
right where we started
struggling to stay afloat
How could you not know mama
that they would have me standing
at every street corner
selling my body just so we can have supper...
How could you not know mama
that they would feed me drugs and make me their *** slave
they do things to me mama
that makes me feel like I'm
no longer a human
Mama,
how could you let it
go on for so long...
I hope you're not still holding onto that dream
it's just sooo out of reach...
Do you not care about me,
my sanity, my life...
Couldn't you see mama
they're still taking away
the innocence of your only daughter...
you allowed the world to define me
mama, you sentenced me
at the age of 13
to the harsh reality of poverty.
Feb 3
Feb 3, 2026 at 10:02 PM UTC
Do you know how it feels to wants someone
who doesn't seem to want you back
How does it feel rendering someone helpless
taking away their only source of happiness
How does it feel to hurt someone
who did nothing but love you.
How does it feel to be the reason
she's afraid to let her guard down
I mean...
you exploited her insecurities
judged her based on her scars
made her your own personal dressed up doll
then tossed her around a few times
like you're playing American football
I never understood
her feeling toward you
why she would get butterflies
those knots in her stomach
I told her maybe
it's a warning sign
maybe she should stay away
but as always, she thought I was wrong
she moved closer
craving for your love and
the promise
of a Cinderella ending
when in fact you knew she was just
a fling.
Feb 3
Feb 3, 2026 at 9:32 PM UTC
You know I hate when you lie,
Yet that's all you do
You know I hate feeling insecure
Yet you make it your mission to point out
ALL of my flaws...
"You should wear more makeup
try to cover up those scars
Maybe exercise some more
lose a couple of pounds"
I don't know why it took me this long to realise that
You weren't the one for me...
You didn't handle me with care
You never made me feel safe in this 'relationship'
And I'm pretty sure
You never loved me...
You went behind my back and said some nasty things
Then act like it meant nothing
that I'm just overreacting
But I know my feelings are valid
You did what you did
knowing it would hurt me
But instead of being accountable and maybe saying
You're sorry
You passed the blame onto me
You shouldn't have worn that dress
It made you look bulky
Or maybe you should apply more makeup
I could still see that disgusting face of yours.
And for a long time, I thought this was love.
something I once deserved, but no longer.
Feb 3
Feb 3, 2026 at 9:09 PM UTC
May 3rd, 1975,
A day I couldn’t forget even if I tried
It was the day my whole life changed…
You see I had a great future
And it was all planned out...
I was gonna go to college
Become whatever I wanted to be
Marry the star of the football team
What else could a girl want?
It was my dream and it was about to come true
But life had other plans for me…
I should have listened to HER
I should have never gone to that stupid celebration
But as head cheerleader
And that being our first victory
I just had to go and besides
What would others think of me
If I was a no show??
What could go wrong right?.
Try...
being dragged through the woods
And held against your will
By people you trusted,
Try…
Having someone shove something down your throat
While your clothes are ripped off of you
And all you could do is cry
In hopes that they would stop,
Try
Waking up covered in blood and dirt
Not knowing where you are
And who’s blood you’re lying in,
Try
Feeling sore and unable to move
And nobody is around to cry out to
Having to prise yourself up off the ground
In tears
Walking around
Looking for a way out
And finding none,
Try
crying yourself to sleep every night
With this never-ending nightmare
of being surrounded by wolves
Devouring your flesh and innocence
piece by piece
And you are left having to question your very existence,
Try
Not feeling anything….
Cutting yourself off from the world of emotions
Only to find yourself in the same place
Where you started,
Try
Wanting to tell someone
Anyone but you know you can’t
Cause you’re afraid of what would they say
And how they would see you after,
Try
Feeling like it’s your fault
“They had the platform and you wanted the attention”
“You know how boys can get, don’t you??”
Isn’t that what they always say??
They would let them slide
Because they’re so young and talented
Why would they want to ruin their lives?
Even though mines going to be ruined,
9 months from now
So please
Try
To understand the reason why I didn’t tell you
Why I couldn’t keep it up
I am starting to show
And I have no clue as to who’s responsible,
Try
And understand that I’m doing this for you
Now your name wouldn’t be dragged through the mud
You wouldn’t have to live with a daughter like me
Your safe now, Mama
Just know that you were always right..
Do me one little favor, will you?
Try to forgive me for what I’m about to do…
I’m sorry Mama
She wiped her tears as she folded the letter, sealed it with a kiss goodbye, placed it on the table, knowing that at the time this letter is read, she would already be gone.
Apr 9, 2020
Apr 9, 2020 at 11:45 PM UTC
I thought if I hide the pain
It would go away,
I thought if I put on a smile
No one would notice,
And they never did.
So... each day continued
Just as it would yesterday,
I get picked on
And called names,
They just stood there
And watched me
get shoved to the ground
Or kicked about,
Day after day.
I watched them turned their backs,
I watched my friends walk away,
No one came to see if I was okay,
I got up every time and ran to the bathroom
To draw my tears,
I would be in there for hours and hours..
And no one would notice that
I was missing,
That was when I knew
I wasn't worth anything,
There were times when I didn't want to go to school,
Times I pretended to be sick,
Times I wanted to run away,
And times I wish that I was never here,
I wished and wished
That I could be someone else,
Someone who wasn't sad all the time,
Someone who was brave and strong
To fight back,
Someone who wasn't afraid of what she saw.....
When facing the mirror,
Someone who didn't want to erase her future,
Someone like Aalyiah...
Or Anna,
Those are the popular girls at school,
They are the ones who make me feel
Inferior.
They would spread lies
About me,
Saying that I have slept with over a hundred different guys,
And how I have contracted some kind of a disease,
"But it isn't true.."
I would tell them,
But who would believe
someone like me??
They stared at me with
hatred and disgust,
So much that I wanted...
I wished I could just.........
disappear,
Then maybe....
I wouldn't feel this way.
U see...
I never told my mom
Cause I thought she'll only
Make it worse,
I kept it to myself,
I kept it inside,
I didn't want it to be
Anyone else's problem,
It got so bad..
Overtime,
That I resorted to cutting my wrist,
Once a day..
Sometimes even twice,
I did it to distract myself
From the pain within.
This was the only thing..
I had control over..
The only thing that made me feel
A little better...
About myself..
I thought that if it hurt
Outside,
I wouldn't feel so broken,
But that's not what happened.
Was it??
I began to hate myself even more,
I hated what I had done to me..,
I.....
I Destroyed my beauty
Simply by believing in what they had said,
I straightened my hair
I bleached my skin
I cutted my wrist
I starve myself everyday,
With hopes of getting that perfect looking body,
I just wanted to be accepted,
But NO matter what I did,
I was always....
Always turned away....,
No one took the time to notice that I was afraid,
No one saw the pain revealed through my eyes,
No one knew that I wanted tomorrow to be better than today..
That I was just little girl who needed their love and support..
No one knew anything..
Or maybe they just didn't care..
I said my goodbyes
When no one was listening,
I went to my room
Took a knife with me
And began the cutting process,
With every slice I made
I had to do another
I couldn't stop myself,
It was like I was erasing all the pain,
All the hurtful memories,
It was like a being born again,
A blank plate being handed to me,
And whenever I stopped....
It all came back
In one flash;
The pain
The memories
The names
All of it,
I just couldn't handle it
The emotions
The feelings,
They all came back,
And I wasn't ready for that,
So with the knife pressed
Against my wrist,
I pushed down harder than before
And it went in deep...
Too deep.
I laid there in my own blood,
In sorrow
And somewhat comfortable
like I was going home,
Look at what I had done to myself,
Living on their lies and deception,
It was too late to go back in time,
To change everything...
They then came running through my bedroom door..
Screaming my name..
Asking me...
All these questions,
Asking me why?
Telling me to keep my eyes open..
As I slip into my death...
Who knew this would be my last time..
Drawing the knife across my skin...??
I showed you alot of signs
That I needed you...
But you didn't read between the invisible lines..
U never looked up at me..
U Never saw my eyes...
Jun 15, 2019
Jun 15, 2019 at 7:10 PM UTC
I'm afraid that she won't remember..
That I am her daughter...
I'm afraid that she won't remember..
The sound of my voice or even what I look like..
They would tell me the same thing
Everyday...
That she would get better..
But she never did...
She would ask questions over and over..
She takes longer than usual at
Everything..
She would get angry
For no reason..
She would laugh and be happy
And that makes me worry...
She said that she can see and talk to dad...
That's impossible...
he died
When I was three
So how can she see him, but I can't
How can she remember what he looks like..
And every day she asks me
"Who am I?" ...
And that hurt deep inside...
I would tell her doctors
What she says
They would say what they always say...
That I gotta hope for the best..
That she would get better..
But this time
I knew they were lying...
She wasn't getting any better
She would never be the same again...
I miss the way
She talked to me
It made me feel..
That I was worth loving..
I miss the way
She did things..
The way she motivated me..
To do my very best..
To help others...
I miss the old her..
U know...
I wish things would go back
To the way it was...
I want her to tell me
what I should do
When I get scared...
To tell me that I'm strong..
And that I'm beautiful....
To tell me who I really am..
But how can she..
She can't even
remember Me....
I wish I could see him too
U know...
Or maybe just hear his voice..
For the very first time..
I secretly wish that I were her...
Just to experience those things
With him..
To see his face..
To know what he looks like...
To constantly not be worrying about
Someone that's happy...
For her to tell me
That it's okay to cry..
Its okay.. To break down..
As long as I get back up..
And to hold me as she did...
When I was just a child..
But how can she..
She doesn't even remember
me..
I'm Afraid that she won't
Accept me..
As part of her..
I'm afraid that she won't..
Love me the same....
And most of all
I'm afraid that things have changed....
And that I have lost my mother....
To this big monster....
Jun 15, 2019
Jun 15, 2019 at 6:59 PM UTC