|The Ballad of Mr Pretentious|
Why, hello there! I am Mr. Pretentious!
Telling you something that is quite sententious.
I hail from the East of Las Cruces,
bringing good news, that’s what I says!
Your uncle in Zambia wants to say “hey!”,
But something annoying’s stopped him on his way.
The airlines have told him he doesn’t have the cash,
and the doctors need money to treat his arm rash.
If you send $15,000 he’ll be so grateful.
If you agree, he’ll see you in April!
|The Subsequent Writings Regarding Mr Pretentious|
Re: My Uncle in Zambia
Actually, he died last year.
But before I go,
I will have you know,
he drowned in the Gambia.
|The Unobjectionable Response From Mr Pretentious|
Thanks for a swift reply, my friend!
I’m saddened to hear ‘bout his untimely end.
But I don’t refer to the one you speak of,
I talk of the other one, born in Farkov.
You’re his last living relative, so you may want to know,
he’ll leave you his millions when his body decomposes.
His banks are all frozen, so lend him some green.
If you do, he’ll get you a new computer screen.
I’ll ask you now, but I don’t expect a reply;
Do you seriously not want to meet this guy?
He’s cashed up beyond reason, the IRS wants
his boats and his houses and even his sconce!
Just give him the money before it’s too late.
The wealth you’d get back would be so very great!
I’ll leave you for now, my soon-to-be rich friend.
Just give him the money, it’s a hand you must lend.
|The Indisputably Short Continuation of the Conversation Regarding Mr Pretentious|
Mr Pretentious,
I’ve no Zambian Uncle.
Do not contact me.
|The Untimely End to the Conversation Involving Mr Pretentious|
If you don’t want $20 Million, it’s fine.
I’ll keep the money and it shall be mine.
Inheritance squandered, I think you’ll see.
Potential recipient, now I. Tee hee!
If you decide to reply any more,
My lawyers will break down your front and back door.
Jan 31
Jan 31, 2026 at 11:00 AM UTC
|The Ballad of Mr Pretentious|
Why, hello there! I am Mr. Pretentious!
Telling you something that is quite sententious.
I hail from the East of Las Cruces,
bringing good news, that’s what I says!
Your uncle in Zambia wants to say “hey!”,
But something annoying’s stopped him on his way.
The airlines have told him he doesn’t have the cash,
and the doctors need money to treat his arm rash.
If you send $15,000 he’ll be so grateful.
If you agree, he’ll see you in April!
|The Subsequent Writings Regarding Mr Pretentious|
Re: My Uncle in Zambia
Actually, he died last year.
But before I go,
I will have you know,
he drowned in the Gambia.
|The Unobjectionable Response From Mr Pretentious|
Thanks for a swift reply, my friend!
I’m saddened to hear ‘bout his untimely end.
But I don’t refer to the one you speak of,
I talk of the other one, born in Farkov.
You’re his last living relative, so you may want to know,
he’ll leave you his millions when his body decomposes.
His banks are all frozen, so lend him some green.
If you do, he’ll get you a new computer screen.
I’ll ask you now, but I don’t expect a reply;
Do you seriously not want to meet this guy?
He’s cashed up beyond reason, the IRS wants
his boats and his houses and even his sconce!
Just give him the money before it’s too late.
The wealth you’d get back would be so very great!
I’ll leave you for now, my soon-to-be rich friend.
Just give him the money, it’s a hand you must lend.
|The Indisputably Short Continuation of the Conversation Regarding Mr Pretentious|
Mr Pretentious,
I’ve no Zambian Uncle.
Do not contact me.
|The Untimely End to the Conversation Involving Mr Pretentious|
If you don’t want $20 Million, it’s fine.
I’ll keep the money and it shall be mine.
Inheritance squandered, I think you’ll see.
Potential recipient, now I. Tee hee!
If you decide to reply any more,
My lawyers will break down your front and back door.