I drink a cup of water
after every meal,
run the tap till it’s clear.
Shove my fingers down
over and over.
I drink a cup of water after every meal.
There’s a moment
right before it’s clear,
where I think this might be enough,
where my stomach sounds like rain
and I can pretend it’s washing me clean.
The clean is just empty,
the clear is ***** in a way.
I drink cups of water
again and again.
Run my throat till it’s clear
until my insides look like glass
and I can see right through myself.
And as it laughs with derision,
I call it control.
Jan 28
Jan 28, 2026 at 3:55 AM UTC
I drink a cup of water
after every meal,
run the tap till it’s clear.
Shove my fingers down
over and over.
I drink a cup of water after every meal.
There’s a moment
right before it’s clear,
where I think this might be enough,
where my stomach sounds like rain
and I can pretend it’s washing me clean.
The clean is just empty,
the clear is ***** in a way.
I drink cups of water
again and again.
Run my throat till it’s clear
until my insides look like glass
and I can see right through myself.
And as it laughs with derision,
I call it control.
