Why do I feel numb why is there pain what do I have to do to ******* change no one’s listening they don’t understand I just want off this ******* planet everything I do is always bad my depression keeps hitting me and I just haven’t got the fight anymore I’m just sick of pain I’m sick of being the way I am but yet I feel caged with my pain running through old cycles again I’m overcome with every ******* emotion under the sun that’s why I smoke I do it to feel numb
I’m sick of trying I’m sick of rejection why is it me that I have to ******* question why is it the way it is in this world why is it everyone gets everything first I’m sick of abundance I’m sick of breakthroughs I’m done with it all I have no beliefs anymore I just don’t know why I’m here I don’t know why I feel like every little thing I do is a failure over and over I’m sick of it all man I wish I could just swallow every ******* pill just to feel nothing just watch as my soul leave my body return to whatever I am from because I’m in this ******* world I feel like I have ******* no one
Pessimistic words just stay in my mind making me believe that it would be better if I just died I know its crazy I wish I could lie but if I died tonight it would be cool just to feel something is better than feeling like I’m a fool it’s so selfish to feel this way but yet my mind says it every day
I don’t know what to do all I have in my mind is sadness grasping at straws wishing my life could change people saying I need help if I had it back then I ******* wouldn’t be here maybe I would be ok if the results were given maybe my childhood could have been different instead I decided to try to end my life at 12 years old tying cords around my neck going to sleep that night wishing I wouldn’t wake up because my pain wouldn’t leave but unfortunately I didn’t succeed
Right now I’m numbing myself further because I’m 31 jobless watching everyone around me get their wishes and riches but yet another door is slammed in my face and now it’s another **** direction to take I feel like everything I do is a **** mistake I just feel like I have no one my brain is just wanting out and honestly if I had the energy to do all of this I would in a **** heartbeat maybe even go to a different country and just buy as much pills as I can and down them til I’m gone I just don’t know what to live on for now
I will get better I will try my best as much as I can I know theres always a plan
I know theres light at the end of the tunnel
As I go to bed at night I find happiness among the sad
Whether it’s trying to make myself happy or making people laugh
there is always a way to allow yourself to live
You are allowed to forgive yourself and the people who caused you pain
Theres ways of moving on in life
I know it’s hard to believe
Anything you put your mind to
You
Will
Succeed
Dec 29, 2025
Dec 29, 2025 at 9:20 PM UTC
Why do I feel numb why is there pain what do I have to do to ******* change no one’s listening they don’t understand I just want off this ******* planet everything I do is always bad my depression keeps hitting me and I just haven’t got the fight anymore I’m just sick of pain I’m sick of being the way I am but yet I feel caged with my pain running through old cycles again I’m overcome with every ******* emotion under the sun that’s why I smoke I do it to feel numb
I’m sick of trying I’m sick of rejection why is it me that I have to ******* question why is it the way it is in this world why is it everyone gets everything first I’m sick of abundance I’m sick of breakthroughs I’m done with it all I have no beliefs anymore I just don’t know why I’m here I don’t know why I feel like every little thing I do is a failure over and over I’m sick of it all man I wish I could just swallow every ******* pill just to feel nothing just watch as my soul leave my body return to whatever I am from because I’m in this ******* world I feel like I have ******* no one
Pessimistic words just stay in my mind making me believe that it would be better if I just died I know its crazy I wish I could lie but if I died tonight it would be cool just to feel something is better than feeling like I’m a fool it’s so selfish to feel this way but yet my mind says it every day
I don’t know what to do all I have in my mind is sadness grasping at straws wishing my life could change people saying I need help if I had it back then I ******* wouldn’t be here maybe I would be ok if the results were given maybe my childhood could have been different instead I decided to try to end my life at 12 years old tying cords around my neck going to sleep that night wishing I wouldn’t wake up because my pain wouldn’t leave but unfortunately I didn’t succeed
Right now I’m numbing myself further because I’m 31 jobless watching everyone around me get their wishes and riches but yet another door is slammed in my face and now it’s another **** direction to take I feel like everything I do is a **** mistake I just feel like I have no one my brain is just wanting out and honestly if I had the energy to do all of this I would in a **** heartbeat maybe even go to a different country and just buy as much pills as I can and down them til I’m gone I just don’t know what to live on for now
I will get better I will try my best as much as I can I know theres always a plan
I know theres light at the end of the tunnel
As I go to bed at night I find happiness among the sad
Whether it’s trying to make myself happy or making people laugh
there is always a way to allow yourself to live
You are allowed to forgive yourself and the people who caused you pain
Theres ways of moving on in life
I know it’s hard to believe
Anything you put your mind to
You
Will
Succeed
TW suicide attempt suicidal ideation
Trying to journal my thoughts and recognising issues
I am okay like my bio says it’s therapy to me