Why do I feel numb why is there pain what do I have to do to ******* change no one’s listening they don’t understand I just want off this ******* planet everything I do is always bad my depression keeps hitting me and I just haven’t got the fight anymore I’m just sick of pain I’m sick of being the way I am but yet I feel caged with my pain running through old cycles again I’m overcome with every ******* emotion under the sun that’s why I smoke I do it to feel numb
I’m sick of trying I’m sick of rejection why is it me that I have to ******* question why is it the way it is in this world why is it everyone gets everything first I’m sick of abundance I’m sick of breakthroughs I’m done with it all I have no beliefs anymore I just don’t know why I’m here I don’t know why I feel like every little thing I do is a failure over and over I’m sick of it all man I wish I could just swallow every ******* pill just to feel nothing just watch as my soul leave my body return to whatever I am from because I’m in this ******* world I feel like I have ******* no one
Pessimistic words just stay in my mind making me believe that it would be better if I just died I know its crazy I wish I could lie but if I died tonight it would be cool just to feel something is better than feeling like I’m a fool it’s so selfish to feel this way but yet my mind says it every day
I don’t know what to do all I have in my mind is sadness grasping at straws wishing my life could change people saying I need help if I had it back then I ******* wouldn’t be here maybe I would be ok if the results were given maybe my childhood could have been different instead I decided to try to end my life at 12 years old tying cords around my neck going to sleep that night wishing I wouldn’t wake up because my pain wouldn’t leave but unfortunately I didn’t succeed
Right now I’m numbing myself further because I’m 31 jobless watching everyone around me get their wishes and riches but yet another door is slammed in my face and now it’s another **** direction to take I feel like everything I do is a **** mistake I just feel like I have no one my brain is just wanting out and honestly if I had the energy to do all of this I would in a **** heartbeat maybe even go to a different country and just buy as much pills as I can and down them til I’m gone I just don’t know what to live on for now
I will get better I will try my best as much as I can I know theres always a plan
I know theres light at the end of the tunnel
As I go to bed at night I find happiness among the sad
Whether it’s trying to make myself happy or making people laugh
there is always a way to allow yourself to live
You are allowed to forgive yourself and the people who caused you pain
Theres ways of moving on in life
I know it’s hard to believe
Anything you put your mind to
You
Will
Succeed
Dec 29, 2025
Dec 29, 2025 at 9:20 PM UTC
Death seems to follow me lately, not gonna lie it really does scare me, I shudder to think of when it is the time, honestly I don’t know what I’m supposed to do in this life.
Maybe I’m here to prove that anyone can maybe that’s it right? Yet I’m stuck in mud wriggling my way out like a worm and still no avail, but with the mask on I’m sure you wouldn’t even tell.
I would love to scream it away and tell it gone you are banished forever long! Yet it laughs as it invites others that were younger than I. Maybe that’s why I stay silent.
But yet there are days that I sprint away laughing with glee
See death now how can you catch me?! I’m not stuck in a cage look at me I’m free!
It feels like those days have become less and less but still I live on even if I don’t feel it I know I’m strong.
Nov 23, 2025
Nov 23, 2025 at 11:58 AM UTC
Memory lane hurts me so much but makes me happy too because I finally have you. I see you laughing in the chair at the kids making faces.
A ping of guilt hits me harder than ever knowing the only time I see you is when I remember I’m terrified of forgetting you.
We are all still broken in our own ways because you got called back home.
Almost three years without you here and it still feels like it happened yesterday even though you’re gone I will never let you fade away.
One day we will meet again but I always have memory lane because you haven’t left there yet.
Nov 9, 2025
Nov 9, 2025 at 1:57 PM UTC
She came to me with heavy eyes,
a story of love turned into lies.
A boy had broken what she had built,
left her standing in shadows of guilt.
But queens do not crumble,
they rise from the ground—
I took her hand,
and I fixed her crown.
I told her: *“You are fire,
you are gold,
you are the story
yet to be told.
No boy can dim
the light you bear,
your worth is endless,
beyond compare.”
So lift your head,
let sorrow fall—
you were never small,
you were always tall.
And when the world
tries to drag you down,
remember—queens
adjust each other’s crowns.
Sep 30, 2025
Sep 30, 2025 at 5:55 AM UTC
Even though I remain silent, it doesn’t mean that I am broken, innocence just completely stolen, you knew what you did was wrong but yet nothing came from it, trying to get justice for it all to go astray, you didn’t give a **** you were just able to walk away.
For me it’s different, flashbacks freeze me in my body, eyes darted at people who are just enjoying themselves, but I’m on the lookout for something to happen, it never does but I feel so trapped.
Justice comes in so many forms but yet I feel none, even though I have moved on my body doesn’t, the heart palpitations, my breathing stops, eyes keep moving and I begin to shake,
I don’t know why I feel this way, all I wanted was justice just one time, while you can move on and it doesn’t seem to matter to you.
Maybe one day just once I could get my body back, the road is long but I am on the right track.
My body is not something for you to enjoy anymore, it is a body that shows more love than it should at times. I know one day I will feel safe again.
But why must I feel like everyone is an enemy rather than a friend?
Sep 24, 2025
Sep 24, 2025 at 6:08 AM UTC
I live in a state of paranoia, the shame follows me like a plague.
Memories flood my brain like horrific hurricanes.
I wonder what they speak about before they sleep?
I wonder what is said through walls as mumble words softly bellow into my place of rest.
But yet, it is silence that keeps me awake, my brain likes to form the words for me.
“They will speak to you in the morning”
My mind laughs as my heart beats so hard that I feel it almost jump out of my chest.
Stomach in a knot, I’m constantly filled with dread.
Maybe it would be better if I was dead.
Sep 22, 2025
Sep 22, 2025 at 7:07 AM UTC
We are so different it’s kinda weird almost like chalk and cheese, wasnt expecting you to completely change after a month of not seeing you, it’s just the weirdest feeling knowing I’ve to let you go, because even speaking feels so hard and I feel like I’m talking to a wall.
But being honest I knew it was gonna happen, the two of us do nothing but snap, but now even trying to have a laugh everything feels fake, maybe keeping you around was a ******* mistake.
Sep 17, 2025
Sep 17, 2025 at 7:17 PM UTC
The first few weeks were absolute heaven, I finally found the love of my life!
Or so I thought…
More than a decade between us, I felt more childish compared to you, but yet you acted the same age.
You took advantage of my innocence, my curiosity and my inability to make right decisions. Not once did you give a ****
You allowed me to be bullied, almost daily may I add.
You didn’t care, whatsoever!
I hope to never make anyone feel so unloved if anything… I over pour the cups of everyone I meet, just to prove I can.
You don’t have control over me anymore, I can finally breathe.
Since taking off the rose tinted glasses..
I can clearly see.
Sep 15, 2025
Sep 15, 2025 at 7:25 PM UTC
Thank you for showing me how to love again. Thank you for being a lover and a best friend.
For all the ways you show me your love.
I honestly couldn’t thank you enough.
I never knew that love could make me feel this way. That is all because you are just being you. You are everything I’ve ever wanted, all wrapped in one.
I would give you the world and then some to prove my love to you, I’m so close to throwing up a line to the moon just to drag it to you.
Your smile lights up the darkest of days, your laughter is the greatest ringtone to come from you. Don’t get me started on your voice, almost like an angel sent from heaven.
1257 days of love and plenty more to go, I love you more than you’ll ever know.
Sep 14, 2025
Sep 14, 2025 at 6:59 PM UTC
Honestly, my heart is broken in two.
Hearing you say,
“There’s another number I won’t get to use.”
The grief you carry, like so many of your friends, you carry silently, tears forming.
Rather than a hug which everyone would prefer, you carry them on your shoulder, to their final place.
At one point it was almost weekly!
You turn to me, in your grief and try to reassure me.
“You are better off lonely rather than having days like today.”
I really wish I knew what to say, if only I could take that pain away.
Sep 12, 2025
Sep 12, 2025 at 5:14 AM UTC