(not a poem but some untold chaos)
I was not attached, I was attached to the feelings, the familiarity, the thought of having someone with whom I can be close enough to empty the burden of my heart.
But amidst all this, I forgot that people are the most unpredictable beings.
They sometimes without realising or understanding become that versions of themselves, you never meant to accept.
The air gets thick with confusion and the clarifying lines get blurred. Understanding someone is common but fully understanding about what actually they are is a rare pie in the mist of pan cakes.
Having friends is common, even the true ones. But a one with constant familiarity is rare. Sometimes they act as if you are the only one and later they would say the same things to someone else. It's so easy to say things , to make someone feel special for a second without realising the aftermath.
The thought that someone will read all of these haunts me ( I write in diary and people around keeps checking ) but I barely care about it anymore because even if they read they will never be able to comprehend my feelings, my thoughts which are beyond the words (very beyond).
Even me who is suffering from PMDD can't withstand that shift people shows. Although I shift more than them.
Was never wanted, only a burden, a sweet one.
Maybe that's why I never find people or maybe I comprehend too much ignoring how self centred I am.
I talk about others without realising how inconsistent I, myself am when it comes to relations.
Although changed, seeking someone still remains the same.
Why though?
Is that the stimulation I crave
Or
The warmth it gave?
Dec 11, 2025
Dec 11, 2025 at 11:39 PM UTC
(not a poem but some untold chaos)
I was not attached, I was attached to the feelings, the familiarity, the thought of having someone with whom I can be close enough to empty the burden of my heart.
But amidst all this, I forgot that people are the most unpredictable beings.
They sometimes without realising or understanding become that versions of themselves, you never meant to accept.
The air gets thick with confusion and the clarifying lines get blurred. Understanding someone is common but fully understanding about what actually they are is a rare pie in the mist of pan cakes.
Having friends is common, even the true ones. But a one with constant familiarity is rare. Sometimes they act as if you are the only one and later they would say the same things to someone else. It's so easy to say things , to make someone feel special for a second without realising the aftermath.
The thought that someone will read all of these haunts me ( I write in diary and people around keeps checking ) but I barely care about it anymore because even if they read they will never be able to comprehend my feelings, my thoughts which are beyond the words (very beyond).
Even me who is suffering from PMDD can't withstand that shift people shows. Although I shift more than them.
Was never wanted, only a burden, a sweet one.
Maybe that's why I never find people or maybe I comprehend too much ignoring how self centred I am.
I talk about others without realising how inconsistent I, myself am when it comes to relations.
Although changed, seeking someone still remains the same.
Why though?
Is that the stimulation I crave
Or
The warmth it gave?
After a long time I felt like dumping these thoughts out of my heart. Sorry for any errors