I just wanted to sleep
during the days I spent sober.
I did not want help.
I wanted to forget.
I needed to stop,
but it felt like all I had
was myself.
I thought no one cared.
I heard what they said—
that I'd gone too deep
—but I drowned it out,
holding my breath
and diving down further.
I had to come up for air,
but I stayed underneath the surface.
I was fine with not breathing.
It did not feel worth it.
I dove deeper.
I would have made it back alive,
but there was nothing to go back to.
I just sunk deeper and deeper.
I gave up, and I didn't have to.
I thought I made the right choice,
and I didn't need to.
No one ever had to see me again.
But they did.
Oct 31, 2025
Oct 31, 2025 at 11:24 PM UTC
I just wanted to sleep
during the days I spent sober.
I did not want help.
I wanted to forget.
I needed to stop,
but it felt like all I had
was myself.
I thought no one cared.
I heard what they said—
that I'd gone too deep
—but I drowned it out,
holding my breath
and diving down further.
I had to come up for air,
but I stayed underneath the surface.
I was fine with not breathing.
It did not feel worth it.
I dove deeper.
I would have made it back alive,
but there was nothing to go back to.
I just sunk deeper and deeper.
I gave up, and I didn't have to.
I thought I made the right choice,
and I didn't need to.
No one ever had to see me again.
But they did.
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