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i’m fine, i guess. biting my tongue just to quiet the mess. i ask for help, but nobody answers — just echoes and habits. these toxins hit, pain fades, but it always finds its way back. mornings hit slow — i stare at the ceiling, wonder if peace is just something you fake till it feels real. i keep breathing, even when it burns. maybe that’s healing — not the pretty kind, just the kind that hurts less each time. oxy in my blood, i can’t feel my hands. out of options, no one understands. breathe too fast, heartbeat stutters. i talk to the walls, they don’t answer. every hit feels like a promise i break. every calm just another mistake. you said it helps, but it hollowed me out — i’m screaming underwater just to make a sound. out of patience, words taste like static now. i move, but it’s habit — not intention. the world hums without me, i let it. mirrors blur, faces fade at the edges. i don’t miss them — just the noise they made. i talk in echoes, answer in delay. my body’s still here, but i left days ago. i’m sick of swallowing pills just to feel a pulse. don’t tell me how to feel — you don’t live inside this skull. breathe in, choke out. i built bandages out of silence just to stop the bleeding. years slipping through my fingers like ***** water. i was lost, but don’t call it recovery just ’cause i learned how to fake control. the room’s still spinning, but i’m not. the pills sit untouched, the ghosts stay quiet. maybe that’s enough for tonight — not peace, just pause.
0
Oct 19, 2025
Oct 19, 2025 at 2:30 PM UTC
lost, not recovered
i’m fine, i guess. biting my tongue just to quiet the mess. i ask for help, but nobody answers — just echoes and habits. these toxins hit, pain fades, but it always finds its way back. mornings hit slow — i stare at the ceiling, wonder if peace is just something you fake till it feels real. i keep breathing, even when it burns. maybe that’s healing — not the pretty kind, just the kind that hurts less each time. oxy in my blood, i can’t feel my hands. out of options, no one understands. breathe too fast, heartbeat stutters. i talk to the walls, they don’t answer. every hit feels like a promise i break. every calm just another mistake. you said it helps, but it hollowed me out — i’m screaming underwater just to make a sound. out of patience, words taste like static now. i move, but it’s habit — not intention. the world hums without me, i let it. mirrors blur, faces fade at the edges. i don’t miss them — just the noise they made. i talk in echoes, answer in delay. my body’s still here, but i left days ago. i’m sick of swallowing pills just to feel a pulse. don’t tell me how to feel — you don’t live inside this skull. breathe in, choke out. i built bandages out of silence just to stop the bleeding. years slipping through my fingers like ***** water. i was lost, but don’t call it recovery just ’cause i learned how to fake control. the room’s still spinning, but i’m not. the pills sit untouched, the ghosts stay quiet. maybe that’s enough for tonight — not peace, just pause.
justlena
Written by
Oct 19, 2025
Oct 19, 2025 at 2:30 PM UTC
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