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justlena
justlena
23/F well someone fucked me over and I’m here
Poems2
Words144
you said i didn’t have to run. but you didn’t stop me. you didn’t call. you didn’t knock on the door you let slam shut. you left like it was mercy. like letting me go was love. i used to flinch at the thought of seeing you again. now i flinch at how small i made myself waiting for something you were never planning to give. you live in the city. i live in the consequence. we could’ve been something, but you were always a man with hands in his pockets and too many words unsaid. so no— i didn’t run. i just realized you weren’t coming. and silence isn’t something i chase.
0
Nov 8, 2025
Nov 8, 2025 at 12:16 PM UTC
justlena
for you, but never for you
you said i didn’t have to run. but you didn’t stop me. you didn’t call. you didn’t knock on the door you let slam shut. you left like it was mercy. like letting me go was love. i used to flinch at the thought of seeing you again. now i flinch at how small i made myself waiting for something you were never planning to give. you live in the city. i live in the consequence. we could’ve been something, but you were always a man with hands in his pockets and too many words unsaid. so no— i didn’t run. i just realized you weren’t coming. and silence isn’t something i chase.
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25
i’m fine, i guess. biting my tongue just to quiet the mess. i ask for help, but nobody answers — just echoes and habits. these toxins hit, pain fades, but it always finds its way back. mornings hit slow — i stare at the ceiling, wonder if peace is just something you fake till it feels real. i keep breathing, even when it burns. maybe that’s healing — not the pretty kind, just the kind that hurts less each time. oxy in my blood, i can’t feel my hands. out of options, no one understands. breathe too fast, heartbeat stutters. i talk to the walls, they don’t answer. every hit feels like a promise i break. every calm just another mistake. you said it helps, but it hollowed me out — i’m screaming underwater just to make a sound. out of patience, words taste like static now. i move, but it’s habit — not intention. the world hums without me, i let it. mirrors blur, faces fade at the edges. i don’t miss them — just the noise they made. i talk in echoes, answer in delay. my body’s still here, but i left days ago. i’m sick of swallowing pills just to feel a pulse. don’t tell me how to feel — you don’t live inside this skull. breathe in, choke out. i built bandages out of silence just to stop the bleeding. years slipping through my fingers like ***** water. i was lost, but don’t call it recovery just ’cause i learned how to fake control. the room’s still spinning, but i’m not. the pills sit untouched, the ghosts stay quiet. maybe that’s enough for tonight — not peace, just pause.
0
Oct 19, 2025
Oct 19, 2025 at 2:30 PM UTC
justlena
lost, not recovered
i’m fine, i guess. biting my tongue just to quiet the mess. i ask for help, but nobody answers — just echoes and habits. these toxins hit, pain fades, but it always finds its way back. mornings hit slow — i stare at the ceiling, wonder if peace is just something you fake till it feels real. i keep breathing, even when it burns. maybe that’s healing — not the pretty kind, just the kind that hurts less each time. oxy in my blood, i can’t feel my hands. out of options, no one understands. breathe too fast, heartbeat stutters. i talk to the walls, they don’t answer. every hit feels like a promise i break. every calm just another mistake. you said it helps, but it hollowed me out — i’m screaming underwater just to make a sound. out of patience, words taste like static now. i move, but it’s habit — not intention. the world hums without me, i let it. mirrors blur, faces fade at the edges. i don’t miss them — just the noise they made. i talk in echoes, answer in delay. my body’s still here, but i left days ago. i’m sick of swallowing pills just to feel a pulse. don’t tell me how to feel — you don’t live inside this skull. breathe in, choke out. i built bandages out of silence just to stop the bleeding. years slipping through my fingers like ***** water. i was lost, but don’t call it recovery just ’cause i learned how to fake control. the room’s still spinning, but i’m not. the pills sit untouched, the ghosts stay quiet. maybe that’s enough for tonight — not peace, just pause.
Continue reading...
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