The kitchen cupboards empty, there nothing much to eat
But I spy a round of soft white bread and tin of luncheon meat.
A bit of sauce, a cup of tea now this will do just grand
So off I go to start my lunch, butter knife in hand.
The bread is soft the butter hard but still I get it spread
A little bit unevenly but I cover all the bread.
A tricky start I’ll give you, but I’ll take that little win
For now I face the challenge of the luncheon meats **** tin.
I break one nail before I can remove the ****** key
So the butter knife is utilised to prise the ****** free.
I thread the key like needle hole around the tins small tag
And start to turn but suddenly the key begins to snag
I turn with force and now the coil of metal starts to bend
It spirals off the little key long before the end.
So standing with half opened tin I can’t believe the strife
This little tin of luncheon meat is bringing to my life.
So I grab the nearby butter knife and insert it in the tin
And push and bend and wiggle it, the ******* will not win.
So here I am still hungry with a towel wrapped round my thumb
In Accident and Emergency my whole hand feeling numb.
I swear again as I’ve done before, I’ll never buy again
The tin of ****** luncheon meat that always brings me pain.
Sep 21, 2025
Sep 21, 2025 at 8:19 AM UTC
The kitchen cupboards empty, there nothing much to eat
But I spy a round of soft white bread and tin of luncheon meat.
A bit of sauce, a cup of tea now this will do just grand
So off I go to start my lunch, butter knife in hand.
The bread is soft the butter hard but still I get it spread
A little bit unevenly but I cover all the bread.
A tricky start I’ll give you, but I’ll take that little win
For now I face the challenge of the luncheon meats **** tin.
I break one nail before I can remove the ****** key
So the butter knife is utilised to prise the ****** free.
I thread the key like needle hole around the tins small tag
And start to turn but suddenly the key begins to snag
I turn with force and now the coil of metal starts to bend
It spirals off the little key long before the end.
So standing with half opened tin I can’t believe the strife
This little tin of luncheon meat is bringing to my life.
So I grab the nearby butter knife and insert it in the tin
And push and bend and wiggle it, the ******* will not win.
So here I am still hungry with a towel wrapped round my thumb
In Accident and Emergency my whole hand feeling numb.
I swear again as I’ve done before, I’ll never buy again
The tin of ****** luncheon meat that always brings me pain.
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