I like my life
I love to watch the sun as it shines over the mountains
I love the smell of the lilacs as spring blooms into the world
I love the rain as it falls on my cheeks
And wakes me up into reality
i love holding your hand
I love holding your hand
This is what i tell myself
When i forget
When i forget who i am
When i forget what i care about
Because the thoughts take over my mind
When the thoughts creep in
I forget who i am
I forget what i care about
Because all that consumes me
Are these words in my mind
These monsters that spin lies
Shout into my ears
And i cannot
I cannot remember why
i deserve to be here
So i cry
And i remember the sunlight over the mountains
And i remember the smell of the lilacs in the spring
And i try to remember what it feels like when i sing
Because sometimes i cant remember
all i remember is that dont deserve anything
Sometimes these words in my mind are all that i hear
all that i can feel inside of me
And its not me
Its NOT me
i try to push them away
Far away from my mind
And sometimes i can
And sometimes i cant
they tell me to let it all disappear
To run away
To get away from this world I’ve created
From the things that i need to do that i never can
From the things that i know i dont deserve
From the joy and the happiness
That Isn’t mine to keep
And i remember the sunlight over the mountains
And i remember the smell of the lilacs in the spring
And i soothe my shaking hands with the thought of holding yours in mine
And i can stand
And take another step until tomorrow
Until tomorrow
- May 2023
May 30, 2023
May 30, 2023 at 1:43 AM UTC
I like my life
I love to watch the sun as it shines over the mountains
I love the smell of the lilacs as spring blooms into the world
I love the rain as it falls on my cheeks
And wakes me up into reality
i love holding your hand
I love holding your hand
This is what i tell myself
When i forget
When i forget who i am
When i forget what i care about
Because the thoughts take over my mind
When the thoughts creep in
I forget who i am
I forget what i care about
Because all that consumes me
Are these words in my mind
These monsters that spin lies
Shout into my ears
And i cannot
I cannot remember why
i deserve to be here
So i cry
And i remember the sunlight over the mountains
And i remember the smell of the lilacs in the spring
And i try to remember what it feels like when i sing
Because sometimes i cant remember
all i remember is that dont deserve anything
Sometimes these words in my mind are all that i hear
all that i can feel inside of me
And its not me
Its NOT me
i try to push them away
Far away from my mind
And sometimes i can
And sometimes i cant
they tell me to let it all disappear
To run away
To get away from this world I’ve created
From the things that i need to do that i never can
From the things that i know i dont deserve
From the joy and the happiness
That Isn’t mine to keep
And i remember the sunlight over the mountains
And i remember the smell of the lilacs in the spring
And i soothe my shaking hands with the thought of holding yours in mine
And i can stand
And take another step until tomorrow
Until tomorrow
- May 2023
Mental health is a constant uphill climb for many of us. Sometimes it makes sense when anxiety and doubt creeps in if there are very stressful times, but it often also creeps in when life is seemingly going well. This poem is a reflection of the on my journey to bring myself back into the present moment and stop my inner goblins from spiraling down into dark holes, especially on the days when the only true demon I am facing is myself.
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