A thousand times I should've known
I should have felt
The thousand times without.
For the misplaced faith in a wraith I couldn't doubt...
My own feeling left me reeling
For me to tell the one story,
I'd left untold
And I can never know - if I was right...
I dreamt a hundred lives
And in each time
I never saw your face...
You were here with me from the beginning
Maybe a reflection of my ghost
Or I was too young for me to place you.
On and on.
But I chased you well.
I told the stories
In poems, songs, in visions
In theories, in ev'ry mis-decision
I keep you alive in every lie
In every breath that claims that I
I believe
Did you know that I drowned...
Twice?
You are my hidden face
Wittness to my unveiled disgrace
I was once asked in all my songs
Who were "you"
My unseen mistress
My forgiveness,
My implacabal
Agressive shadow
My insecure insignificant
My insight
Myself deplorable
An adorable
A beautiful disaster
And we slept
So many nights
In each other's comforting arms
And I invited you in
Without a fight
But thats all you left in me
... the FIGHT
My disgraceful, irreplaceable
My exoneration,
my desperation, my displacement,
my revelations...
My whimsical
Mystical, quixiotical
My enervation...
Disgraceful, irreplaceable, it's not just distrust,
Its ireedemable
You're my,
Captivated, and one day they'll maybe see
You've always been me
My inescapable
"you"
May 25, 2023
May 25, 2023 at 10:42 PM UTC
A thousand times I should've known
I should have felt
The thousand times without.
For the misplaced faith in a wraith I couldn't doubt...
My own feeling left me reeling
For me to tell the one story,
I'd left untold
And I can never know - if I was right...
I dreamt a hundred lives
And in each time
I never saw your face...
You were here with me from the beginning
Maybe a reflection of my ghost
Or I was too young for me to place you.
On and on.
But I chased you well.
I told the stories
In poems, songs, in visions
In theories, in ev'ry mis-decision
I keep you alive in every lie
In every breath that claims that I
I believe
Did you know that I drowned...
Twice?
You are my hidden face
Wittness to my unveiled disgrace
I was once asked in all my songs
Who were "you"
My unseen mistress
My forgiveness,
My implacabal
Agressive shadow
My insecure insignificant
My insight
Myself deplorable
An adorable
A beautiful disaster
And we slept
So many nights
In each other's comforting arms
And I invited you in
Without a fight
But thats all you left in me
... the FIGHT
My disgraceful, irreplaceable
My exoneration,
my desperation, my displacement,
my revelations...
My whimsical
Mystical, quixiotical
My enervation...
Disgraceful, irreplaceable, it's not just distrust,
Its ireedemable
You're my,
Captivated, and one day they'll maybe see
You've always been me
My inescapable
"you"
I havent written in a long time. It would go a long way for me to have any critique. I deliberately wrote this out of meter, using percussive moments similar to A Day to Remember, Hawthorne Heights, and Breaking Benjamin as a punctuated separation of thought.
Bronte, Sartre, Eidelhoff, and Bruhn are referenced in meter or lyric.