I have lived most of my adult life living in a constant state of anxiety.
After finally feeling as though I have conquered my relationship anxiety, I feel anxious about things I’ve never thought of before.
I used to compulsively think and worry about whether or not my partner is the one, if I will end up divorced or childless, if I should break up with my partner, if I should fix things with an old partner, etc.
Now, I am simply anxious about death.
I feel so content in my relationship for the first time but my brain still somehow finds a way to ruin me.
It’s laughing at me saying “Now you’ll get to worry about not making it to see your happiest days.”
It has made my OCD skyrocket. I am compulsively acting in ridiculous behaviors because my brain is telling me that if I don’t, my partner or I will die.
It feels as though I am being punished for making all of those mistakes between the years of my abuse and now.
It’s fine, I deserve it and more.
It’s fine, I can handle it and more.
Apr 22, 2023
Apr 22, 2023 at 9:46 PM UTC
I have lived most of my adult life living in a constant state of anxiety.
After finally feeling as though I have conquered my relationship anxiety, I feel anxious about things I’ve never thought of before.
I used to compulsively think and worry about whether or not my partner is the one, if I will end up divorced or childless, if I should break up with my partner, if I should fix things with an old partner, etc.
Now, I am simply anxious about death.
I feel so content in my relationship for the first time but my brain still somehow finds a way to ruin me.
It’s laughing at me saying “Now you’ll get to worry about not making it to see your happiest days.”
It has made my OCD skyrocket. I am compulsively acting in ridiculous behaviors because my brain is telling me that if I don’t, my partner or I will die.
It feels as though I am being punished for making all of those mistakes between the years of my abuse and now.
It’s fine, I deserve it and more.
It’s fine, I can handle it and more.