i fear that maybe i lied to myself and maybe i lied to you, too.
maybe i was never fully there, perhaps i wasn’t thinking that much.
and then i remember the little things, like the way you remembered i wanted that plant that dances and you got me flowers like you knew what you were doing.
when you smiled at me your eyes would scrunch in this certain way. i’d like to think they only do that for me; or at least i’m the only one who notices. i fear this isn’t the case. i dread you never look at me that way again.
i wanted you so close to me. i wanted to crawl inside your skin and make a home somewhere that would take me, until all i am was this; was you.
you said the same, you wanted to be attached to me. were you only ever pretending? was i really all that terrifying?
Mar 27, 2022
Mar 27, 2022 at 7:59 PM UTC
i fear that maybe i lied to myself and maybe i lied to you, too.
maybe i was never fully there, perhaps i wasn’t thinking that much.
and then i remember the little things, like the way you remembered i wanted that plant that dances and you got me flowers like you knew what you were doing.
when you smiled at me your eyes would scrunch in this certain way. i’d like to think they only do that for me; or at least i’m the only one who notices. i fear this isn’t the case. i dread you never look at me that way again.
i wanted you so close to me. i wanted to crawl inside your skin and make a home somewhere that would take me, until all i am was this; was you.
you said the same, you wanted to be attached to me. were you only ever pretending? was i really all that terrifying?