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noahtheboyPoems
i always find myself explaining why am i always explaining explaining explaining as if i have to justify each little thought any brief phrase the slightest movement in anticipation of being questioned i answer what they were never even going to ask am i really so used to everyone not believing me? that explanation has become an impulse that is impossible to deny the terror of who-knows-what creeps up my left arm until it's weighed down by lead it seeps into my blood and my brain poisoning me now communication doesn't work and then communication doesn't work it soaks into my bones never letting me forget these habits i've learned years later remembering to leech out just enough of the remaining toxin to keep me stuck in my old ways stuck explaining explaining explaining
0
Jun 15, 2021
Jun 15, 2021 at 3:36 PM UTC
explaining
i always find myself explaining why am i always explaining explaining explaining as if i have to justify each little thought any brief phrase the slightest movement in anticipation of being questioned i answer what they were never even going to ask am i really so used to everyone not believing me? that explanation has become an impulse that is impossible to deny the terror of who-knows-what creeps up my left arm until it's weighed down by lead it seeps into my blood and my brain poisoning me now communication doesn't work and then communication doesn't work it soaks into my bones never letting me forget these habits i've learned years later remembering to leech out just enough of the remaining toxin to keep me stuck in my old ways stuck explaining explaining explaining
#ptsd#bpd#trauma#abuse
Written by
noahtheboy
17/M/NYC
Jun 15, 2021
Jun 15, 2021 at 3:36 PM UTC
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