I am not Shawn
I have ceased to be
And I am instead
What you see now
When you see me
I am not Shawn
I am audacity
To speak my mind
To speak my feelings
To speak my truth
Yet ****** by all three
I am not Shawn
I am lunacy
My thoughts and logic
Played down or dismissed
In lieu of the only truth
Allowed to support another's reality
I am not Shawn
I am infidelity
Years ago guilty of this crime
But living today
Like yesterday is the present
And I need reminders of my culpability
I am not Shawn
I am cruelty
A now tolerated trespasser to peace in a home
Built on hurt pride and offences
Enumerated and idolized meticulously
I am not Shawn
I am the vocabulary
Of confused words and miscommunication
When it's sweet, my disposition is one of intelligence
But while in conflict, only ignorant inadequacy
I am not Shawn
I am expectancy
Placed uncomfortably into my imploring posture
As I seek morsels of golden attention
Choosing my words ever so carefully
I am not Shawn
I am a mockery
Whose tears have a faucet
And whose humility is reserved for moments
Of game play and emotional treachery
I am not Shawn
I am mystery
The suggestion is I'm hiding
That which 'oneness' should know and see
When in fact it's the fault of judgement
Hidden inside another's feigned transparency
I am not Shawn
I am fragility
Painted weak, old and forgetful
Glances at my softening frame
Constant jokes of reverie
I am not Shawn
I am improbability
No consistent growth measured
In areas of another's choosing
Left alone to get it together emotionally and spiritually
Eventually…maybe?
I am not Shawn
I am hypocrisy
For blameless one may live
If the same offense may be found
In the one claiming initial offense
The mirror not inward facing, only outwardly
I am not Shawn
I am an apology
For all the many actions and faulty statements
Which so quickly offend the same one
Less prone to act just as responsibly
I am not Shawn
I am an enemy
Pushed away and constantly distanced
An outsider forced to partner
In this abandonment dance and fantasy
I am not Shawn
I am make-believe
Merely an actress given a script
Fashioned of lines that another prepares
For me
For I am not Shawn
I have ceased to be
You have given me a new name…
history.
Jun 4, 2021
Jun 4, 2021 at 12:39 PM UTC
I am not Shawn
I have ceased to be
And I am instead
What you see now
When you see me
I am not Shawn
I am audacity
To speak my mind
To speak my feelings
To speak my truth
Yet ****** by all three
I am not Shawn
I am lunacy
My thoughts and logic
Played down or dismissed
In lieu of the only truth
Allowed to support another's reality
I am not Shawn
I am infidelity
Years ago guilty of this crime
But living today
Like yesterday is the present
And I need reminders of my culpability
I am not Shawn
I am cruelty
A now tolerated trespasser to peace in a home
Built on hurt pride and offences
Enumerated and idolized meticulously
I am not Shawn
I am the vocabulary
Of confused words and miscommunication
When it's sweet, my disposition is one of intelligence
But while in conflict, only ignorant inadequacy
I am not Shawn
I am expectancy
Placed uncomfortably into my imploring posture
As I seek morsels of golden attention
Choosing my words ever so carefully
I am not Shawn
I am a mockery
Whose tears have a faucet
And whose humility is reserved for moments
Of game play and emotional treachery
I am not Shawn
I am mystery
The suggestion is I'm hiding
That which 'oneness' should know and see
When in fact it's the fault of judgement
Hidden inside another's feigned transparency
I am not Shawn
I am fragility
Painted weak, old and forgetful
Glances at my softening frame
Constant jokes of reverie
I am not Shawn
I am improbability
No consistent growth measured
In areas of another's choosing
Left alone to get it together emotionally and spiritually
Eventually…maybe?
I am not Shawn
I am hypocrisy
For blameless one may live
If the same offense may be found
In the one claiming initial offense
The mirror not inward facing, only outwardly
I am not Shawn
I am an apology
For all the many actions and faulty statements
Which so quickly offend the same one
Less prone to act just as responsibly
I am not Shawn
I am an enemy
Pushed away and constantly distanced
An outsider forced to partner
In this abandonment dance and fantasy
I am not Shawn
I am make-believe
Merely an actress given a script
Fashioned of lines that another prepares
For me
For I am not Shawn
I have ceased to be
You have given me a new name…
history.