I question what it could be sometimes,
Fathom the ideas in my head-
All strange, and unruly, and unheard of by the people around me.
I wonder if I'll form a herion addiction like my father,
Or take up coke instead.
I'm proud that I've yet to try, but my insecurities rule over all
I don't know what to expect with myself anymore.
What I'm going to try next,
Or if I'll die from lung cancer when everything I've tried before
Catches up to **** me.
Or if the medications the doctors put me on will go through
All those adverse side affects
And **** me themselves.
Or if my mind finally gets to me.
Finally kills me, ends itself.
One second there and the next gone.
It's too much to figure. I can't handle that thought.
It's been here too long,
It's an old friend.
I hate it.
My downfall is too many things,
Myself, the outside, the feelings that plague my being-
The insecurity...
It's too complicated. It's too exhausting.
I'm tired. Maybe that's my downfall...
The tiredness fueled by the unfathomable idea of it all.
Apr 9, 2021
Apr 9, 2021 at 12:16 PM UTC
I question what it could be sometimes,
Fathom the ideas in my head-
All strange, and unruly, and unheard of by the people around me.
I wonder if I'll form a herion addiction like my father,
Or take up coke instead.
I'm proud that I've yet to try, but my insecurities rule over all
I don't know what to expect with myself anymore.
What I'm going to try next,
Or if I'll die from lung cancer when everything I've tried before
Catches up to **** me.
Or if the medications the doctors put me on will go through
All those adverse side affects
And **** me themselves.
Or if my mind finally gets to me.
Finally kills me, ends itself.
One second there and the next gone.
It's too much to figure. I can't handle that thought.
It's been here too long,
It's an old friend.
I hate it.
My downfall is too many things,
Myself, the outside, the feelings that plague my being-
The insecurity...
It's too complicated. It's too exhausting.
I'm tired. Maybe that's my downfall...
The tiredness fueled by the unfathomable idea of it all.
