I have been warned,
from since I was young,
to be paranoid and observant.
Weary of the cyanide,
the arsenic and ricin,
the small capsules
tipped into our drinks.
But sometimes,
the most lethal and devastating poisons,
come from something not ingested or inhaled.
Our own mini suicides,
and the way we destroy ourselves.
Piece by piece.
I was never warned about them,
no, not at all.
in fact, I witnessed them.
I saw the quiet ways my mother ruined her own life,
the way she stayed up and cried.
I think she hated herself for it.
But I was no exception from self-destructions,
as I cut myself off from all social contact,
and hoped to myself that I would drown in the shower.
I ruined myself, slowly.
Not only did I go low, but I felt high at the same time.
I would cry one moment than feel more powerful than anyone else the next.
I am my own poison.
I am more dangerous to myself than ******* or marijuana.
I could play God and end my own life if I wanted.
I'm a threat to myself.
My very worst enemy.
Who needs rope when you have yourself?
Feb 20, 2021
Feb 20, 2021 at 10:36 PM UTC
I have been warned,
from since I was young,
to be paranoid and observant.
Weary of the cyanide,
the arsenic and ricin,
the small capsules
tipped into our drinks.
But sometimes,
the most lethal and devastating poisons,
come from something not ingested or inhaled.
Our own mini suicides,
and the way we destroy ourselves.
Piece by piece.
I was never warned about them,
no, not at all.
in fact, I witnessed them.
I saw the quiet ways my mother ruined her own life,
the way she stayed up and cried.
I think she hated herself for it.
But I was no exception from self-destructions,
as I cut myself off from all social contact,
and hoped to myself that I would drown in the shower.
I ruined myself, slowly.
Not only did I go low, but I felt high at the same time.
I would cry one moment than feel more powerful than anyone else the next.
I am my own poison.
I am more dangerous to myself than ******* or marijuana.
I could play God and end my own life if I wanted.
I'm a threat to myself.
My very worst enemy.
Who needs rope when you have yourself?
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