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sarPoems
When you get the news that I've left swinging from a noose to rid my head of not only the blood but all the terrible thoughts you put in with your gun shots of cruel words + icy empty eyes. Don't you dare act like you ever gave half a **** or like you'll miss my presence, or how you'll crave my skin upon yours again. Don't you ******* dare scream out to the world how you miss me so or explain how I'd lend you my broken pieces to try + fix you + help you be less broken. When I was truly the broken one - broken into a million pieces - inside + out. No, please. Please, don't you dare leave just yet. These are my last words. Don't you dare interrupt me, this time. I beg, it'd be best if you'd just shut the **** up. + listen to me, for once. Yes, you're going to finally hear me out, for once. Just please, I deserve to be listened to, for once. This is your fault. I want or more so need you to know that. I mean, you know everything else. You knew I was broken. + you knew I was hurt. + you knew I was lost. + you knew I needed your help, but I was not good enough. I was too berserk. Maybe what people say is true, maybe people are worth more dead than they were alive. Don't you dare put this paper down, + give up on me, again. I've drained my heart + soul into this pen + I've allowed this pen to dance freely on this piece of paper. You will soak up every word, for me. + taste every syllable, for me. + I will be watching + I will be hoping you fall apart just as I did. Comical how things work out, isn't it? sh, calm down. Stop blaming my insanity. Baby, you did this to us, not me. I'm so sorry. I will not be vicious during your downfall like you were towards me during mine. I can explain this. I can justify this. I can show you why. All the shattered pieces that broke off of me. I've decided not to destroy these leftover pieces like I've destroyed myself. I want you to know it wasn't easy being alone being casted out + feeling lower than the mantle + I can tell this may never make sense to you. I knew it was ridiculous of me to think someone as perfect as you could help someone as helpless as myself. + I knew it was so ******* stupid of me to think someone as flawless as you would actually give a **** about someone as unimportant as me. But I know that I am a human being too just like you + I know I deserve love + attention too. How dare you? How dare you? How ******* dare you? How could you do this to me? Look what you've done. You took someone who was already crushed + you picked her up + you allowed her to feel a new type of rush, but then what did you do? You dropped her, just like everyone else before you did. I had the best of intentions. When I met you I thought to myself yea I will sneak a peek + maybe blush when he looks my way so just maybe he will feel the same rush. But **** my intentions. I meant well! I truly meant well, but look where that has left me. I'm more lost than I was before you came along. Because let's forget my intentions + lets take a second to question yours. If you merely wanted to smash + dash you could have done so but instead you got to know me - the parts that weren't so pretty touching things that were not tangible + tasting memories that were sour. So, yes when I was cut open + analyzed + the person I thought was perfect didn't like what he saw + he just left without suing me back up without saying good-bye . . . I was left, bleeding out + feeling empty. But now, you understand what everyone means by "she's insane," now you believe it too. They made you believe that I was insane + now I believe it too. That's me, now. I'm insane through + through. + I cannot succeed living in the same world as them. So here, I will sacrifice myself for you. Because I realize it wasn't just you, + I need to decide who I'll give myself to. Because I can only give so much of myself to strangers who look as if they need something to keep them going until I just stop. + I've decided to stop to stop breathing to stop living to stop existing. I'm donating myself to you. Don't you dare think this is me giving myself to you as a way to show my love. I would just hate to be wasteful, + I know you're broken. + I know you know people do not belong to people, so take my ashes. I've left them all for you. When you're feeling low I know you'll grab your smokes + I know you'll grab your coffee, too. I know how you like to roll your own because it makes you feel more at home. + I know how you like to brew your own because it taste more fresh on your breath. + I know you'll be tempted to throw my ashes in. + I'd like you to know that I do not object. I actually encourage it. Because now you truly understand: that it isn't easy + that it isn't our fault + that you're morbid, too. Don't you dare forget this.
0
Jul 11, 2013
Jul 11, 2013 at 6:30 AM UTC
Don't you dare.
When you get the news that I've left swinging from a noose to rid my head of not only the blood but all the terrible thoughts you put in with your gun shots of cruel words + icy empty eyes. Don't you dare act like you ever gave half a **** or like you'll miss my presence, or how you'll crave my skin upon yours again. Don't you ******* dare scream out to the world how you miss me so or explain how I'd lend you my broken pieces to try + fix you + help you be less broken. When I was truly the broken one - broken into a million pieces - inside + out. No, please. Please, don't you dare leave just yet. These are my last words. Don't you dare interrupt me, this time. I beg, it'd be best if you'd just shut the **** up. + listen to me, for once. Yes, you're going to finally hear me out, for once. Just please, I deserve to be listened to, for once. This is your fault. I want or more so need you to know that. I mean, you know everything else. You knew I was broken. + you knew I was hurt. + you knew I was lost. + you knew I needed your help, but I was not good enough. I was too berserk. Maybe what people say is true, maybe people are worth more dead than they were alive. Don't you dare put this paper down, + give up on me, again. I've drained my heart + soul into this pen + I've allowed this pen to dance freely on this piece of paper. You will soak up every word, for me. + taste every syllable, for me. + I will be watching + I will be hoping you fall apart just as I did. Comical how things work out, isn't it? sh, calm down. Stop blaming my insanity. Baby, you did this to us, not me. I'm so sorry. I will not be vicious during your downfall like you were towards me during mine. I can explain this. I can justify this. I can show you why. All the shattered pieces that broke off of me. I've decided not to destroy these leftover pieces like I've destroyed myself. I want you to know it wasn't easy being alone being casted out + feeling lower than the mantle + I can tell this may never make sense to you. I knew it was ridiculous of me to think someone as perfect as you could help someone as helpless as myself. + I knew it was so ******* stupid of me to think someone as flawless as you would actually give a **** about someone as unimportant as me. But I know that I am a human being too just like you + I know I deserve love + attention too. How dare you? How dare you? How ******* dare you? How could you do this to me? Look what you've done. You took someone who was already crushed + you picked her up + you allowed her to feel a new type of rush, but then what did you do? You dropped her, just like everyone else before you did. I had the best of intentions. When I met you I thought to myself yea I will sneak a peek + maybe blush when he looks my way so just maybe he will feel the same rush. But **** my intentions. I meant well! I truly meant well, but look where that has left me. I'm more lost than I was before you came along. Because let's forget my intentions + lets take a second to question yours. If you merely wanted to smash + dash you could have done so but instead you got to know me - the parts that weren't so pretty touching things that were not tangible + tasting memories that were sour. So, yes when I was cut open + analyzed + the person I thought was perfect didn't like what he saw + he just left without suing me back up without saying good-bye . . . I was left, bleeding out + feeling empty. But now, you understand what everyone means by "she's insane," now you believe it too. They made you believe that I was insane + now I believe it too. That's me, now. I'm insane through + through. + I cannot succeed living in the same world as them. So here, I will sacrifice myself for you. Because I realize it wasn't just you, + I need to decide who I'll give myself to. Because I can only give so much of myself to strangers who look as if they need something to keep them going until I just stop. + I've decided to stop to stop breathing to stop living to stop existing. I'm donating myself to you. Don't you dare think this is me giving myself to you as a way to show my love. I would just hate to be wasteful, + I know you're broken. + I know you know people do not belong to people, so take my ashes. I've left them all for you. When you're feeling low I know you'll grab your smokes + I know you'll grab your coffee, too. I know how you like to roll your own because it makes you feel more at home. + I know how you like to brew your own because it taste more fresh on your breath. + I know you'll be tempted to throw my ashes in. + I'd like you to know that I do not object. I actually encourage it. Because now you truly understand: that it isn't easy + that it isn't our fault + that you're morbid, too. Don't you dare forget this.
sar
Written by
sar
Jul 11, 2013
Jul 11, 2013 at 6:30 AM UTC
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