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every 73 seconds an American is sexually assaulted. these statistics do not shock me anymore. 1 in 5 American women have been ***** at some time in their lives. 1 in 71 American men have been ***** at some time in their lives. in an average year, there are 433,648 reported rapes in the United States. these are only 2 of those stories. ________________________________ #1 it does not shock me when my friend calls and says that she doesn’t remember what happened, but she woke up lying in a puddle of her own blood. it does not shock me when she’s sobbing so loudly into the phone that I can’t make out any of her words. it does not shock me that I don’t need to hear her to know what happened last night. I can hear the fear in her voice. I can feel her pain. I already know. it does not shock me when I see her sitting in my passenger seat, and I automatically know that she is not fully here. she left a part of herself there on that mattress. looking over at her, I know that right now, she is beginning to realize that she lost something that she will never be able to get back. it should have been hers to give away, but it was stolen. she is the 1 in 5. __________________________ #2 it does not shock me when we walk past the Auntie Anne’s in the mall, and my friend collapses at the smell of cinnamon and sugary pretzels. it does not shock me when he apologizes over and over and tells me that he was ***** and that his ****** was chewing on a piece of cinnamon-scented gum. it does not shock me that I am holding him while he shakes and cries on the floor of the mall. I want to hug him tighter and keep him close to me, but I know that right now, his mind is already gone. he feels like he is still there. he tells me that it feels like they are hurting him all over again. I can’t hold him tight enough to bring him back. it does not shock me that he waited so long to tell me this. it does not shock me when he says that he didn’t think it mattered because he is a man, because so many people have told him he should’ve liked it. he does not tell them his rapists were six grown men at one time, but they wouldn’t care even if he did. he is the 1 in 71. __________________________ we now avoid parties and pale blue bedsheets. we never go past certain streets, even though it adds a few extra miles onto every trip. we now avoid pretzel stands and candy stores. we never watch romance movies or films, even though almost every movie has some kind of *** or kissing scene. we are always aware of where we go, and who we’re with, and who knows that we’re going out, and who knows where we’ll be if we do. we avoid the things that we once loved to do. we avoid the places that we once loved to go. we are hyper-vigilant, and we are cautious, and we are careful because we are scared. we are all scared. my friend is the 1 in 5. my other friend is the 1 in 71. I am the 1 in 5. almost everyone I know has a story like this. this information may be shocking, but not to us. not anymore. it can happen anywhere to anyone at anytime, but we see it so often that I think we’ve grown numb to it. if you talk to a group of teenagers and you tell them, “I was ***** they will not be surprised. this is every day. we are afraid every day. know that this is not just a collection of statistics. these are your family. these are your friends. these are all people just like you, with beating hearts and lives to live, and we are so much more than just numbers on a list.
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Oct 18, 2020
Oct 18, 2020 at 12:02 AM UTC
we are survivors, not statistics
every 73 seconds an American is sexually assaulted. these statistics do not shock me anymore. 1 in 5 American women have been ***** at some time in their lives. 1 in 71 American men have been ***** at some time in their lives. in an average year, there are 433,648 reported rapes in the United States. these are only 2 of those stories. ________________________________ #1 it does not shock me when my friend calls and says that she doesn’t remember what happened, but she woke up lying in a puddle of her own blood. it does not shock me when she’s sobbing so loudly into the phone that I can’t make out any of her words. it does not shock me that I don’t need to hear her to know what happened last night. I can hear the fear in her voice. I can feel her pain. I already know. it does not shock me when I see her sitting in my passenger seat, and I automatically know that she is not fully here. she left a part of herself there on that mattress. looking over at her, I know that right now, she is beginning to realize that she lost something that she will never be able to get back. it should have been hers to give away, but it was stolen. she is the 1 in 5. __________________________ #2 it does not shock me when we walk past the Auntie Anne’s in the mall, and my friend collapses at the smell of cinnamon and sugary pretzels. it does not shock me when he apologizes over and over and tells me that he was ***** and that his ****** was chewing on a piece of cinnamon-scented gum. it does not shock me that I am holding him while he shakes and cries on the floor of the mall. I want to hug him tighter and keep him close to me, but I know that right now, his mind is already gone. he feels like he is still there. he tells me that it feels like they are hurting him all over again. I can’t hold him tight enough to bring him back. it does not shock me that he waited so long to tell me this. it does not shock me when he says that he didn’t think it mattered because he is a man, because so many people have told him he should’ve liked it. he does not tell them his rapists were six grown men at one time, but they wouldn’t care even if he did. he is the 1 in 71. __________________________ we now avoid parties and pale blue bedsheets. we never go past certain streets, even though it adds a few extra miles onto every trip. we now avoid pretzel stands and candy stores. we never watch romance movies or films, even though almost every movie has some kind of *** or kissing scene. we are always aware of where we go, and who we’re with, and who knows that we’re going out, and who knows where we’ll be if we do. we avoid the things that we once loved to do. we avoid the places that we once loved to go. we are hyper-vigilant, and we are cautious, and we are careful because we are scared. we are all scared. my friend is the 1 in 5. my other friend is the 1 in 71. I am the 1 in 5. almost everyone I know has a story like this. this information may be shocking, but not to us. not anymore. it can happen anywhere to anyone at anytime, but we see it so often that I think we’ve grown numb to it. if you talk to a group of teenagers and you tell them, “I was ***** they will not be surprised. this is every day. we are afraid every day. know that this is not just a collection of statistics. these are your family. these are your friends. these are all people just like you, with beating hearts and lives to live, and we are so much more than just numbers on a list.
poetry-by-sf
Written by
F/Pennsylvania, USA
Oct 18, 2020
Oct 18, 2020 at 12:02 AM UTC
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