I find it funny that the first time we ever kissed,
your lips only barely brushed mine
like light wind upon sand,
moving my heart just a little bit, but not quite enough for me to kiss you back,
it was an agonizing craving
because wanting to mimic your lips
with mine as badly as I did
had been quietly, yet evidently
suppressed with my palm
pressed up against your chest
to push you away
maybe it’s not funny after all
but at the time, I wasn’t aware of what it would feel like
to lose you
when your arms were gently wrapped around me under white fluffy blankets
and your whisper
sent me into
a lullaby of tranquility
I was safe there, a lucky penny
put inside your pocket
I didn’t know, one day, I would let my head go
and kiss you back
until there were no more clothes or distractions,
the piercing judgments cloaked underneath our timeless innocence
I didn’t know, one day, I’d be as loved as a flower is loved by the sun
and soil
and that my heart would make itself entirely available to be nurtured
I still find it funny the night we held hands
all the way to the bus stop
and skipped a little like children on their way to school in the summertime
when the bus pulled up, you kissed me but I didn’t place a palm
to push you away
this time,
regardless of how many passengers
would see us
underneath the moonlight
it just felt right
and I find it really beautiful
when you let me cry like a small child that had just lost both of her parents
in a car accident
my snot got all over your t-shirt and all you did was rub my back
and whisper
I love you, sweetie
I didn’t know, one day, when you called
to tell me
those exact same words,
I would hang up on you
because being that loved would become as
terrifying
as letting go of sickness
I didn’t know, one day, I would welcome you into my heart with
tantric grace,
and another day, attack you with
my own self loathing,
creating a moat around my trueness so you could never get in again
I think I mostly find our first kiss funny
because I knew you knew
I wanted to kiss you back
the entire time
but waited months instead
and you were okay with that
I didn’t know, one day, missing you
would make my heart ache
like one million pins were stuck in it
I didn’t know, one day, I’d be as ready
as this
but it’d be too late
Jul 3, 2013
Jul 3, 2013 at 10:44 AM UTC
I find it funny that the first time we ever kissed,
your lips only barely brushed mine
like light wind upon sand,
moving my heart just a little bit, but not quite enough for me to kiss you back,
it was an agonizing craving
because wanting to mimic your lips
with mine as badly as I did
had been quietly, yet evidently
suppressed with my palm
pressed up against your chest
to push you away
maybe it’s not funny after all
but at the time, I wasn’t aware of what it would feel like
to lose you
when your arms were gently wrapped around me under white fluffy blankets
and your whisper
sent me into
a lullaby of tranquility
I was safe there, a lucky penny
put inside your pocket
I didn’t know, one day, I would let my head go
and kiss you back
until there were no more clothes or distractions,
the piercing judgments cloaked underneath our timeless innocence
I didn’t know, one day, I’d be as loved as a flower is loved by the sun
and soil
and that my heart would make itself entirely available to be nurtured
I still find it funny the night we held hands
all the way to the bus stop
and skipped a little like children on their way to school in the summertime
when the bus pulled up, you kissed me but I didn’t place a palm
to push you away
this time,
regardless of how many passengers
would see us
underneath the moonlight
it just felt right
and I find it really beautiful
when you let me cry like a small child that had just lost both of her parents
in a car accident
my snot got all over your t-shirt and all you did was rub my back
and whisper
I love you, sweetie
I didn’t know, one day, when you called
to tell me
those exact same words,
I would hang up on you
because being that loved would become as
terrifying
as letting go of sickness
I didn’t know, one day, I would welcome you into my heart with
tantric grace,
and another day, attack you with
my own self loathing,
creating a moat around my trueness so you could never get in again
I think I mostly find our first kiss funny
because I knew you knew
I wanted to kiss you back
the entire time
but waited months instead
and you were okay with that
I didn’t know, one day, missing you
would make my heart ache
like one million pins were stuck in it
I didn’t know, one day, I’d be as ready
as this
but it’d be too late
