I am not here
an old friend is waiting in my place
taking messages
I lie in bed and ask
where are you?
(I'm seeking myself)
all I hear back is
Not here.
Not here.
I try to remember
when I last felt like me
when my life felt mine
not foreign
I can remember tremendous pain
and since then
time has passed
without me in it
Separated for
hundreds of days and nights
where I am nowhere at all
I wonder, do I sometimes wake up in this world
this new life
and look around
before retreating again
retreat into the dark
I am floating
not here
not anywhere
I am not alive but I am
there is no root
there is no path back
there is no return at all
Only forward
My rebirth has taken 9 months.
Aug 11, 2020
Aug 11, 2020 at 12:20 AM UTC
I am not here
an old friend is waiting in my place
taking messages
I lie in bed and ask
where are you?
(I'm seeking myself)
all I hear back is
Not here.
Not here.
I try to remember
when I last felt like me
when my life felt mine
not foreign
I can remember tremendous pain
and since then
time has passed
without me in it
Separated for
hundreds of days and nights
where I am nowhere at all
I wonder, do I sometimes wake up in this world
this new life
and look around
before retreating again
retreat into the dark
I am floating
not here
not anywhere
I am not alive but I am
there is no root
there is no path back
there is no return at all
Only forward
My rebirth has taken 9 months.
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