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A few weeks ago, I had less thoughts, But now they’ve come back and they can’t seem to stop I feel massive and huge I’ve let myself go How can I live like this I’m puffy like dough I want to control what I eat. But I’m at the mercy of what my parents make And the awkwardness that surrounds my plate I can’t talk about how this is driving me insane I know I’m crazy, these thoughts are inane But I don’t know what to do. I just want to be fit, like what I see in the mirror Not hate every inch of fat on my rear I want to be lean. But what if I can’t have this That might be true Too much restriction Metabolism won’t come through Messed up my body Messed up my life On a path to a body, I’m filled with strife I don’t believe this will cease to haunt me Incompatible with my nature Incompatible with me I want to achieve And be the best I can be I obsess over my shape And my unknown weight I’d rather be destroyed Than discover I’ve gained Truly, there is no cure. Intense psychotherapy Is the only hope there But my thoughts aren’t distorted, It’s our culture, I swear My struggles are normal Reflective of today In these thoughts I may drown In our culture I am prey
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Aug 9, 2020
Aug 9, 2020 at 11:02 AM UTC
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A few weeks ago, I had less thoughts, But now they’ve come back and they can’t seem to stop I feel massive and huge I’ve let myself go How can I live like this I’m puffy like dough I want to control what I eat. But I’m at the mercy of what my parents make And the awkwardness that surrounds my plate I can’t talk about how this is driving me insane I know I’m crazy, these thoughts are inane But I don’t know what to do. I just want to be fit, like what I see in the mirror Not hate every inch of fat on my rear I want to be lean. But what if I can’t have this That might be true Too much restriction Metabolism won’t come through Messed up my body Messed up my life On a path to a body, I’m filled with strife I don’t believe this will cease to haunt me Incompatible with my nature Incompatible with me I want to achieve And be the best I can be I obsess over my shape And my unknown weight I’d rather be destroyed Than discover I’ve gained Truly, there is no cure. Intense psychotherapy Is the only hope there But my thoughts aren’t distorted, It’s our culture, I swear My struggles are normal Reflective of today In these thoughts I may drown In our culture I am prey
From 2018
#recovery#dismay#culture#sadness
rising-up
Written by
rising-up
Aug 9, 2020
Aug 9, 2020 at 11:02 AM UTC
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