There’s things In my mind
that I sometimes struggle to find
things like who I really am
if I looked deep inside
These Intrusive thoughts
keep invading my mind,
and they lead me to believe
that everyone will leave me behind
There’s something explosive
inside of my chest
emotions leak out
I can’t keep them suppressed
Can’t tell what is real
I’m so dissociated
it’s like right after something happens
the memory is asphyxiated
I can go from pure joy
To exploding with anger
and its so hard to control
the impulsive behaviors
I have so many conversations
inside of my head
and theres someone inside of me
that says I’m better off dead
By the time I was fourteen
I’d made my first attempt
only a freshmen in high school
yet I was treated with such contempt
Now I’m an adult
and nothings really changed
except for being told
there’s a disorder in my brain
Now I don’t want any attention
but I need some affirmation
does anybody really care
or am I just a mental patient
Mar 15, 2020
Mar 15, 2020 at 2:10 PM UTC
There’s things In my mind
that I sometimes struggle to find
things like who I really am
if I looked deep inside
These Intrusive thoughts
keep invading my mind,
and they lead me to believe
that everyone will leave me behind
There’s something explosive
inside of my chest
emotions leak out
I can’t keep them suppressed
Can’t tell what is real
I’m so dissociated
it’s like right after something happens
the memory is asphyxiated
I can go from pure joy
To exploding with anger
and its so hard to control
the impulsive behaviors
I have so many conversations
inside of my head
and theres someone inside of me
that says I’m better off dead
By the time I was fourteen
I’d made my first attempt
only a freshmen in high school
yet I was treated with such contempt
Now I’m an adult
and nothings really changed
except for being told
there’s a disorder in my brain
Now I don’t want any attention
but I need some affirmation
does anybody really care
or am I just a mental patient
A poem expressing some of my experiences with borderline personality disorder
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