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Longing For one of the only things I cannot have Locked away from me At least I can be Three months sober On March 2nd Just give me a second To catch my breath And stop myself I see the cord and lock Thinking maybe if I took a rock And hit it It could break open Unlocking the liquor Then an image likes to flicker Reminding me what I said I made a promise Not to drink So I think For a long time, I think "I won't take that drink." But then again, Something in me, A fiend, Wants me not to be cleaned Wants me to be tainted To be painted Like a picture And plastered So I argue with said fiend, "I have been cleaned," I say to it, Trying to reason, "and I made a promise." Then the fiend, "But miss," "what if t'were but a sip?" This makes me think Before I have time to counter, I look in the mirror and encounter My reflection And in it I imagine myself Holding a bottle I don't want to touch the throttle That could lead to that road I am drowning in my own pain I have little to nothing to gain So I respond, "Fiend, you beseech me;" "think this is the opportune moment," "But I shall make this a restated movement." So I take the fiend Hold it in my grasp and stare Down at it, in this nightmare I ask it, "Why, why do you care?" It is silent, Takes its turn to stare And to ask me, "Why, why do you resist," "when something to sooth thy pain sits there?" I drop said fiend Taken aback by its counter So I sit on the bathroom counter Then think with my eyes closed How one such as it Could tempt me so Busying myself with something to sew But I cannot be distracted for long Not with something so strong Whenst I was tempted last I revisited something from my past Let it take control One Two Three Four Five Five and no more Then, when I walked out that door The tides had turned Casting be into the waters of guilt Causing my soul to wilt "Fiend..." I called It was not appalled, "Yes, miss? What ever plagues thee so?" A smile upon its face I reply, "Old habits I thought I had buried - I tell no lie." Then, That little fiend replies, "But, not the one thou yearned for not long ago." Thoughts tell me to drop it, let it go "Nay, not a drop has touched these lips." The fiend laughs! "But of course not - but blood loves to seep." So there I weep Fiend laughing Winning in its own, sick and twisted ways Eventually going to let me choose What more do I have to lose? - Jay M February 26th, 2020
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Feb 26, 2020
Feb 26, 2020 at 11:22 PM UTC
Talk With My Fiend
Longing For one of the only things I cannot have Locked away from me At least I can be Three months sober On March 2nd Just give me a second To catch my breath And stop myself I see the cord and lock Thinking maybe if I took a rock And hit it It could break open Unlocking the liquor Then an image likes to flicker Reminding me what I said I made a promise Not to drink So I think For a long time, I think "I won't take that drink." But then again, Something in me, A fiend, Wants me not to be cleaned Wants me to be tainted To be painted Like a picture And plastered So I argue with said fiend, "I have been cleaned," I say to it, Trying to reason, "and I made a promise." Then the fiend, "But miss," "what if t'were but a sip?" This makes me think Before I have time to counter, I look in the mirror and encounter My reflection And in it I imagine myself Holding a bottle I don't want to touch the throttle That could lead to that road I am drowning in my own pain I have little to nothing to gain So I respond, "Fiend, you beseech me;" "think this is the opportune moment," "But I shall make this a restated movement." So I take the fiend Hold it in my grasp and stare Down at it, in this nightmare I ask it, "Why, why do you care?" It is silent, Takes its turn to stare And to ask me, "Why, why do you resist," "when something to sooth thy pain sits there?" I drop said fiend Taken aback by its counter So I sit on the bathroom counter Then think with my eyes closed How one such as it Could tempt me so Busying myself with something to sew But I cannot be distracted for long Not with something so strong Whenst I was tempted last I revisited something from my past Let it take control One Two Three Four Five Five and no more Then, when I walked out that door The tides had turned Casting be into the waters of guilt Causing my soul to wilt "Fiend..." I called It was not appalled, "Yes, miss? What ever plagues thee so?" A smile upon its face I reply, "Old habits I thought I had buried - I tell no lie." Then, That little fiend replies, "But, not the one thou yearned for not long ago." Thoughts tell me to drop it, let it go "Nay, not a drop has touched these lips." The fiend laughs! "But of course not - but blood loves to seep." So there I weep Fiend laughing Winning in its own, sick and twisted ways Eventually going to let me choose What more do I have to lose? - Jay M February 26th, 2020
I've been tempted...tempted, but haven't done a thing.
#fiend#trials
Wandering_Spirit
Written by
Wandering_Spirit
20/GF/the void
Feb 26, 2020
Feb 26, 2020 at 11:22 PM UTC
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