When the light is so hard to see
And the sky is just as dark as me
Will you still be there until the end?
When the things around are so full of change
and the feeling of helplessness settle in?
Will you want me just the same?
Will you break the chains you feel and fly?
Even if that was just your own reality?
Go so very far away from me?
No don't go it will feel like nothing.
You went and it left me feeling nothing.
Gave my everything,
but you gave me nothing
or
maybe it was something
reduced to the infinite zero that it is.
Therefore, what is nothing?
0 = ….
The truth behind a persons eyes
is so very hard to see.
Especially yours now that I am me.
I opened up my vulnerability
only to let you corner me back
in to the dark shadows of the past.
The lights are changing, so irreplaceable
The words from your lips change into notes from the sky
I hear them all so loud and clearly,
But I wanted you to hear mine
My broken life so deep and full
Broke us apart right in two
We wanted each other so very much
Why did we ever let this break us apart
Cause I gave you tomorrow, what I couldn’t give you today
The sting of your words
I only feel betrayed
I loved you so, why couldn’t you see the words dying in front of me
My life, purpose,
YOU were my purpose, unseen to be tilting
My world is spinning, but you're not here
You are with someone with blonde hair
I didn’t want to break you
But i wasn’t sure how to let you go without you loving me
Now you hate me, the lights are out,
The loneliness is full once again a year later,
You didn’t want to be there for me and I already knew why
It was because of me breaking you down inside
Why did you turn on those lights,
You kept me there with false hope
I want to feel, I want to fly
Just you and I
Up the mountains into the big blue sky
The endless possibilities, the truth behind the trees
I held you in my arms, knowing I was safe with you here
I loved you forever no matter the pain
Total isolation, a memory foreseen
But the world got in the way, I guess
and then I couldn't see or maybe I had never seen
The dust got in between the sparks of our memories
I never wanted to hurt you, but it happened just the same
I only did this to make sure your heart could move away
Yet you hurt me too
You left me alone, just longing for you
You preyed on my innocence
Your eyes at the flare of your own intentions
Or was that all a lie too?
The memories all still there,
I fell in love with the memories rather than you
What is love, if it led me to you?
Your dark crusade of the conquest you wanted to make of me
Yet some part of me knew at the time this too.
Now you’re gone and all the same moving on
I’m here stuck in this eternity
Time slipping away, all so fast, but now you’re not here
And the memories weren’t made to last
You don’t care, but I still do
All I wanted to say is I love you
Now I've moved on, let go of those memories, and yet you continue to hold still?
I don't care anymore, let go I am free away from your toxicity.
And yet, my panic still rises when I see your face
So have I moved on or is it the lack of light
That moves me so with your presence withering me down
But all the same you know the real reason too.
But now it’s gone, you’re moving on,
And I am left with the question of love and eternity.
My confidence renewed
To the rarity of me
To the light I radiate on others
and others on me
To the people who stayed for me
when others walked away.
To those who made me laugh
in the depths of my tears.
To those who allowed those tears
to flow down my river of spirals.
To those who without question or judgement
allowed me infinity to be okay with me.
To those who fight the internal wars
To the many who look in the mirror,
and cannot find the fight inside
You are alive breath, revive
I will continue to grow
I will continue to be me
No one
Not a little boys' charm
Nor the insecurities of another woman
Can change that.
Eternally.
Apr 16, 2022
Apr 16, 2022 at 4:13 PM UTC
When the light is so hard to see
And the sky is just as dark as me
Will you still be there until the end?
When the things around are so full of change
and the feeling of helplessness settle in?
Will you want me just the same?
Will you break the chains you feel and fly?
Even if that was just your own reality?
Go so very far away from me?
No don't go it will feel like nothing.
You went and it left me feeling nothing.
Gave my everything,
but you gave me nothing
or
maybe it was something
reduced to the infinite zero that it is.
Therefore, what is nothing?
0 = ….
The truth behind a persons eyes
is so very hard to see.
Especially yours now that I am me.
I opened up my vulnerability
only to let you corner me back
in to the dark shadows of the past.
The lights are changing, so irreplaceable
The words from your lips change into notes from the sky
I hear them all so loud and clearly,
But I wanted you to hear mine
My broken life so deep and full
Broke us apart right in two
We wanted each other so very much
Why did we ever let this break us apart
Cause I gave you tomorrow, what I couldn’t give you today
The sting of your words
I only feel betrayed
I loved you so, why couldn’t you see the words dying in front of me
My life, purpose,
YOU were my purpose, unseen to be tilting
My world is spinning, but you're not here
You are with someone with blonde hair
I didn’t want to break you
But i wasn’t sure how to let you go without you loving me
Now you hate me, the lights are out,
The loneliness is full once again a year later,
You didn’t want to be there for me and I already knew why
It was because of me breaking you down inside
Why did you turn on those lights,
You kept me there with false hope
I want to feel, I want to fly
Just you and I
Up the mountains into the big blue sky
The endless possibilities, the truth behind the trees
I held you in my arms, knowing I was safe with you here
I loved you forever no matter the pain
Total isolation, a memory foreseen
But the world got in the way, I guess
and then I couldn't see or maybe I had never seen
The dust got in between the sparks of our memories
I never wanted to hurt you, but it happened just the same
I only did this to make sure your heart could move away
Yet you hurt me too
You left me alone, just longing for you
You preyed on my innocence
Your eyes at the flare of your own intentions
Or was that all a lie too?
The memories all still there,
I fell in love with the memories rather than you
What is love, if it led me to you?
Your dark crusade of the conquest you wanted to make of me
Yet some part of me knew at the time this too.
Now you’re gone and all the same moving on
I’m here stuck in this eternity
Time slipping away, all so fast, but now you’re not here
And the memories weren’t made to last
You don’t care, but I still do
All I wanted to say is I love you
Now I've moved on, let go of those memories, and yet you continue to hold still?
I don't care anymore, let go I am free away from your toxicity.
And yet, my panic still rises when I see your face
So have I moved on or is it the lack of light
That moves me so with your presence withering me down
But all the same you know the real reason too.
But now it’s gone, you’re moving on,
And I am left with the question of love and eternity.
My confidence renewed
To the rarity of me
To the light I radiate on others
and others on me
To the people who stayed for me
when others walked away.
To those who made me laugh
in the depths of my tears.
To those who allowed those tears
to flow down my river of spirals.
To those who without question or judgement
allowed me infinity to be okay with me.
To those who fight the internal wars
To the many who look in the mirror,
and cannot find the fight inside
You are alive breath, revive
I will continue to grow
I will continue to be me
No one
Not a little boys' charm
Nor the insecurities of another woman
Can change that.
Eternally.