I'm at my desk paying bills
Utility papers, debts and pills
I'm tired, and I feel the old feelings reside
There's a primitive darkness stirring outside
Stars electric, sky like ink
I look up at the window and think,
I no longer know where you are
Somewhere in the world, strumming your guitar?
I put down the papers, the wine and the pen
I open the door
And shove myself into the night
I'm past the house now
Dark air fluttering all around me
I can almost smell your musk
I'm walking on cold pavement, and surrounded by dusk
I can't see where I'm headed, I can't see where I am
It was always that way
I walk on and remember
Us dissolving and dying like a brazen ember
Our platonic parting,
College, we lost touch
You didn't really care much
The texts became sparse and faded away
We got our own lives, and wandered astray
We walk alone now, separate worlds, separate streets
I've got a husband now, snoring in white sheets
And children, and beige furniture
Sleeping in the dark house behind me
and the hard
words
I never said
can now be
said:
I love
you.
Looming shadows of trees
A cold, biting breeze
So much darkness, and nothing to distract me from
All the memories
I shove my hands in my pockets
And remember
I remember the feel of you, Old Spice,
The jokes and stupid advice
Art, your smile and the glow
All those years, watching us grow
The light in the window, your guitars,
Movies, parents, and Bear Valley stars
Bad lip readings, our noons, simply living
Taking, borrowing, lending and giving
Fighting, yelling, grins and forgiving
Always talking, drawing, writing, both stupid and clever
Skiing, flying together, immortal forever
And french class- j'aime, j'aimais, j'ai aimé, j'aimerai
Your hand, my hand, your notebooks and mine,
All these memories and our slow decline.
The wind blows hard tonight
And it's a cold wind
I was young
And naive, and all of it stung
Love, it hurt like a knife
inside,
Washed over my heart like a brutal tide
And now...now I wander in the cool darkness
Weeping a bit, ashamed of my sentimentality
The wind is so viciously howling
I remember
I gave in, I let love enfold me
And the tender little
words
I was too scared to
voice
can now
be
said:
I love
you.
I have a family now, a job, the years run thin
I didn't lose, I didn't win
Nothing changed
This feeling,
it was locked in place
I weep as I feel the night's embrace
In the darkness, something broke
Something
remained, and something awoke
I loved you when it would have taken less courage
not to
You were the only one who understood
I look up at the stars and think,
I no longer know where you are
I no longer know who we are
The saltwater flows in tiny streams
Here I am, a bundle of past recollections and dreams
I'm still walking in the twilight's midst
I look down at my little wrist
I'm still as frail as I was in high school
And maybe still as fragile
I haven't really grown
I'm still skin and slim bone
I'm not made of much
I'm made of the ones I have loved
The ones who have loved me
And the ones I've yet to love
That's all
And the simple
words
I never wrote
can now
be
etched out into the darkness with my hands:
I love
you.
Love is fragile
But somehow remains engraved
The pieces are saved,
The things that hovered on lips,
That might have been said
And love stays in the head
The memories don't fade
They stay sharp as a blade
All the things past, that happened
Or that might have occurred.
There is only one love in life,
That's the heart's strife
Or there are all kinds of love in the world,
But never the same love twice
So many feelings once should suffice
You will never be lost to me
As long as I remember you
Oh anyways the darkness is ebbing
And I must stop to roam
I need to go home
I can hear my husband from the family of elites
Stirring in the sheets
Awaiting breakfast
Apr 25, 2013
Apr 25, 2013 at 1:10 AM UTC
I'm at my desk paying bills
Utility papers, debts and pills
I'm tired, and I feel the old feelings reside
There's a primitive darkness stirring outside
Stars electric, sky like ink
I look up at the window and think,
I no longer know where you are
Somewhere in the world, strumming your guitar?
I put down the papers, the wine and the pen
I open the door
And shove myself into the night
I'm past the house now
Dark air fluttering all around me
I can almost smell your musk
I'm walking on cold pavement, and surrounded by dusk
I can't see where I'm headed, I can't see where I am
It was always that way
I walk on and remember
Us dissolving and dying like a brazen ember
Our platonic parting,
College, we lost touch
You didn't really care much
The texts became sparse and faded away
We got our own lives, and wandered astray
We walk alone now, separate worlds, separate streets
I've got a husband now, snoring in white sheets
And children, and beige furniture
Sleeping in the dark house behind me
and the hard
words
I never said
can now be
said:
I love
you.
Looming shadows of trees
A cold, biting breeze
So much darkness, and nothing to distract me from
All the memories
I shove my hands in my pockets
And remember
I remember the feel of you, Old Spice,
The jokes and stupid advice
Art, your smile and the glow
All those years, watching us grow
The light in the window, your guitars,
Movies, parents, and Bear Valley stars
Bad lip readings, our noons, simply living
Taking, borrowing, lending and giving
Fighting, yelling, grins and forgiving
Always talking, drawing, writing, both stupid and clever
Skiing, flying together, immortal forever
And french class- j'aime, j'aimais, j'ai aimé, j'aimerai
Your hand, my hand, your notebooks and mine,
All these memories and our slow decline.
The wind blows hard tonight
And it's a cold wind
I was young
And naive, and all of it stung
Love, it hurt like a knife
inside,
Washed over my heart like a brutal tide
And now...now I wander in the cool darkness
Weeping a bit, ashamed of my sentimentality
The wind is so viciously howling
I remember
I gave in, I let love enfold me
And the tender little
words
I was too scared to
voice
can now
be
said:
I love
you.
I have a family now, a job, the years run thin
I didn't lose, I didn't win
Nothing changed
This feeling,
it was locked in place
I weep as I feel the night's embrace
In the darkness, something broke
Something
remained, and something awoke
I loved you when it would have taken less courage
not to
You were the only one who understood
I look up at the stars and think,
I no longer know where you are
I no longer know who we are
The saltwater flows in tiny streams
Here I am, a bundle of past recollections and dreams
I'm still walking in the twilight's midst
I look down at my little wrist
I'm still as frail as I was in high school
And maybe still as fragile
I haven't really grown
I'm still skin and slim bone
I'm not made of much
I'm made of the ones I have loved
The ones who have loved me
And the ones I've yet to love
That's all
And the simple
words
I never wrote
can now
be
etched out into the darkness with my hands:
I love
you.
Love is fragile
But somehow remains engraved
The pieces are saved,
The things that hovered on lips,
That might have been said
And love stays in the head
The memories don't fade
They stay sharp as a blade
All the things past, that happened
Or that might have occurred.
There is only one love in life,
That's the heart's strife
Or there are all kinds of love in the world,
But never the same love twice
So many feelings once should suffice
You will never be lost to me
As long as I remember you
Oh anyways the darkness is ebbing
And I must stop to roam
I need to go home
I can hear my husband from the family of elites
Stirring in the sheets
Awaiting breakfast
