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brittany-s-knightPoems
Ropes and chains Twine and twigs Every ounce of burden Straining, straining Step again, drag my feet Too heavy, it's too heavy Crumple like paper Knees in the mud Weight on my shoulders Sinking, sinking Shouts and screams Fall deaf on my ear All I've ever heard Now as silence Spit while I'm down Useless, I'm useless Selfish for want of freedom I owe you this You insist I owe you this Slaves do not dream Do not think on things Other than the master's approval This is what you've done This is why I am To serve, to serve Faithful, without question To validate your own life That, you say is my purpose I'm crawling But you add more weight Sinking, sinking You tell me to stay Trap me with your ropes and chains I slip, you threaten To cast me out To wolves and beasts And vicious criminals To cast me out of these walls You scream To leave me to fend for myself In an existence of terror "No!" I beg, I try harder "Please, strike again!" I beg for the pain The pain is love The whip is love The shouting is love These walls, these chains, Love and protection, Protection Tie me down To a place of expectations That are self serving To a world of rules Of certainty I trusted you I believed in you Believed I was doing the right thing Blinded by your ignorance As you taught it to me Trapped, trapped I can't move You taught me To not want to Those wolves, I can hear them Laughing behind you Laughing is wicked You taught me that Laughter is delusion Is cruel This is real, This is certain, This is safe That is what you said I look to that laughter In disgust What is that garish brightness? It must be one of their tricks, One of their deceptions "It is light," Someone calls from Behind your wall of safety What is light? It must be bad There is none here, And things not here are not good It must mean lies Light must be Deception You hit again For looking I should not look It will lead me astray Please, let me stay I beg But it haunts me That curious light I do not know what it is You do not know what it is I want to see What is that light? That star behind you Do stars exist? In what is that, air? My eyes sneak past you Past the door You yell at me for looking But you always yell I don't hear But I see For the first time, I see Is that green stuff on the ground? Not mud, not unyielding stone Something soft, something gentle Do such things exist? "Grass," the distant voice names Grass… it is something Can something so different be? What does it do? What is its purpose? To serve? "No, not to serve," Then what? Why does it exist, if not to serve? To serve… You add more weight, To remind me Remind me, Of my place There is familiarity, Familiarity in rock and stone And pain I could ask you to strike me One more time So I could feel the love You taught me That is what pain means Grass is scary Flowers are scary Sun, wind, sea, These pleasantries that are Evil in your eyes But they beckon to me I shift in the mud Of this home Restless Restlessness is new Restlessness is dangerous HALT! You do not want me Looking that way Halt, stay, Obey, obey, Head down More weight I don't think to question But I look I look to see Something different Something so soft, Something so sweet How does it taste? How does it feel? Like evil, you say Like the destruction of certainty And society And all that makes us strong I almost believe You sound so sure You taught me never to question And for so long I knew it was right But… that light… I take step forward You scream and snap your whips Dishonor, dishonor They are like hugs As you have taught Out of love I open my mouth to ask "Disrespect, Disrespect!" Anger, fury I am disobeying I dare question, This world you have built Out of rules and ignorance Another step, The burden is slipping Disappointment, Disappointment That light ahead Feels good Feels warm Feels right So strange that There be happiness Outside of certainty Outside of law "Stop stop! I will cast you out I will disown you And you will never return!" You shame me With claims of hate Of betrayal I betrayed, I betrayed Your orders Are the orders Of nature, you say And I disobey them "Betrayal, Betrayal" But the 'wolves' say "Courage" What is courage? Courage is good? Or bad? What do those smiles mean? Can a face truly be that way? How can this exist, if it is Against nature No, It is against Your nature Something, something Outside of your world Exists I am in awe Fascination, imagination There is color, there is life All of these things I never knew It draws me forward This world outside of my own Things I cannot name Warmth and faith "Betrayal, betrayal," But you You dare not follow You lock the gate behind me "Never return, Never return" You growl, You threaten You turn your back on me On one you claimed to love Through slaps and whips I am scared Of not knowing These soft colored Blossoms But you… I realize, I think, For myself You… you instead are afraid of knowing of them. Your walls, I see now I can see Built with rules Built with eyes closed So you can feel safe You protect yourself You shut me out I am contaminated I am evil I am not you, Betrayal, Betrayal I disappointed you I am not welcome There are fingers through my hand There is softness in this touch If pain means love, does this mean hate? I don't understand An embrace This is soft This is good This light is the world And to look back on yours Yours is small, is closed, narrow Cold and dense as stone Unyielding, Unyielding So small, so dark "So safe" You would argue But I pity you You feel strong You command those beneath you As little as they are You feel safe But I walk away And see sky See possibility I feel fear, I feel uncertainty But I feel freedom I feel grass, I feel light, I feel love, I feel life, I feel life.
0
Mar 1, 2013
Mar 1, 2013 at 3:12 PM UTC
Betrayal, Betrayal
Ropes and chains Twine and twigs Every ounce of burden Straining, straining Step again, drag my feet Too heavy, it's too heavy Crumple like paper Knees in the mud Weight on my shoulders Sinking, sinking Shouts and screams Fall deaf on my ear All I've ever heard Now as silence Spit while I'm down Useless, I'm useless Selfish for want of freedom I owe you this You insist I owe you this Slaves do not dream Do not think on things Other than the master's approval This is what you've done This is why I am To serve, to serve Faithful, without question To validate your own life That, you say is my purpose I'm crawling But you add more weight Sinking, sinking You tell me to stay Trap me with your ropes and chains I slip, you threaten To cast me out To wolves and beasts And vicious criminals To cast me out of these walls You scream To leave me to fend for myself In an existence of terror "No!" I beg, I try harder "Please, strike again!" I beg for the pain The pain is love The whip is love The shouting is love These walls, these chains, Love and protection, Protection Tie me down To a place of expectations That are self serving To a world of rules Of certainty I trusted you I believed in you Believed I was doing the right thing Blinded by your ignorance As you taught it to me Trapped, trapped I can't move You taught me To not want to Those wolves, I can hear them Laughing behind you Laughing is wicked You taught me that Laughter is delusion Is cruel This is real, This is certain, This is safe That is what you said I look to that laughter In disgust What is that garish brightness? It must be one of their tricks, One of their deceptions "It is light," Someone calls from Behind your wall of safety What is light? It must be bad There is none here, And things not here are not good It must mean lies Light must be Deception You hit again For looking I should not look It will lead me astray Please, let me stay I beg But it haunts me That curious light I do not know what it is You do not know what it is I want to see What is that light? That star behind you Do stars exist? In what is that, air? My eyes sneak past you Past the door You yell at me for looking But you always yell I don't hear But I see For the first time, I see Is that green stuff on the ground? Not mud, not unyielding stone Something soft, something gentle Do such things exist? "Grass," the distant voice names Grass… it is something Can something so different be? What does it do? What is its purpose? To serve? "No, not to serve," Then what? Why does it exist, if not to serve? To serve… You add more weight, To remind me Remind me, Of my place There is familiarity, Familiarity in rock and stone And pain I could ask you to strike me One more time So I could feel the love You taught me That is what pain means Grass is scary Flowers are scary Sun, wind, sea, These pleasantries that are Evil in your eyes But they beckon to me I shift in the mud Of this home Restless Restlessness is new Restlessness is dangerous HALT! You do not want me Looking that way Halt, stay, Obey, obey, Head down More weight I don't think to question But I look I look to see Something different Something so soft, Something so sweet How does it taste? How does it feel? Like evil, you say Like the destruction of certainty And society And all that makes us strong I almost believe You sound so sure You taught me never to question And for so long I knew it was right But… that light… I take step forward You scream and snap your whips Dishonor, dishonor They are like hugs As you have taught Out of love I open my mouth to ask "Disrespect, Disrespect!" Anger, fury I am disobeying I dare question, This world you have built Out of rules and ignorance Another step, The burden is slipping Disappointment, Disappointment That light ahead Feels good Feels warm Feels right So strange that There be happiness Outside of certainty Outside of law "Stop stop! I will cast you out I will disown you And you will never return!" You shame me With claims of hate Of betrayal I betrayed, I betrayed Your orders Are the orders Of nature, you say And I disobey them "Betrayal, Betrayal" But the 'wolves' say "Courage" What is courage? Courage is good? Or bad? What do those smiles mean? Can a face truly be that way? How can this exist, if it is Against nature No, It is against Your nature Something, something Outside of your world Exists I am in awe Fascination, imagination There is color, there is life All of these things I never knew It draws me forward This world outside of my own Things I cannot name Warmth and faith "Betrayal, betrayal," But you You dare not follow You lock the gate behind me "Never return, Never return" You growl, You threaten You turn your back on me On one you claimed to love Through slaps and whips I am scared Of not knowing These soft colored Blossoms But you… I realize, I think, For myself You… you instead are afraid of knowing of them. Your walls, I see now I can see Built with rules Built with eyes closed So you can feel safe You protect yourself You shut me out I am contaminated I am evil I am not you, Betrayal, Betrayal I disappointed you I am not welcome There are fingers through my hand There is softness in this touch If pain means love, does this mean hate? I don't understand An embrace This is soft This is good This light is the world And to look back on yours Yours is small, is closed, narrow Cold and dense as stone Unyielding, Unyielding So small, so dark "So safe" You would argue But I pity you You feel strong You command those beneath you As little as they are You feel safe But I walk away And see sky See possibility I feel fear, I feel uncertainty But I feel freedom I feel grass, I feel light, I feel love, I feel life, I feel life.
brittany-s-knight
Written by
brittany-s-knight
Mar 1, 2013
Mar 1, 2013 at 3:12 PM UTC
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