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I'm afraid that she won't remember.. That I am her daughter... I'm afraid that she won't remember.. The sound of my voice or even what I look like.. They would tell me the same thing      Everyday... That she would get better.. But she never did... She would ask questions over and over.. She takes longer than usual at Everything.. She would get angry For no reason.. She would laugh and be happy And that makes me worry... She said that she can see and talk to dad... That's impossible... he died When I was three So how can she see him, but I can't How can she remember what he looks like.. And every day she asks me "Who am I?" ... And that hurt deep inside... I would tell her doctors What she says They would say what they always say... That I gotta hope for the best.. That she would get better.. But this time I knew they were lying... She wasn't getting any better She would never be the same again... I miss the way She talked to me It made me feel.. That I was worth loving.. I miss the way She did things.. The way she motivated me.. To do my very best.. To help others... I miss the old her.. U know... I wish things would go back To the way it was... I want her to tell me what I should do When I get scared... To tell me that I'm strong.. And that I'm beautiful.... To tell me who I really am.. But how can she.. She can't even remember Me.... I wish I could see him too U know... Or maybe just hear his voice.. For the very first time.. I secretly wish that I were her... Just to experience those things With him.. To see his face.. To know what he looks like... To constantly not be worrying about Someone that's happy... For her to tell me That it's okay to cry.. Its okay.. To break down.. As long as I get back up.. And to hold me as she did... When I was just a child.. But how can she.. She doesn't even remember me.. I'm Afraid that she won't Accept me.. As part of her.. I'm afraid that she won't.. Love me the same.... And most of all I'm afraid that things have changed.... And that I have lost my mother.... To this big monster....
0
Jun 15, 2019
Jun 15, 2019 at 6:59 PM UTC
Sad freedom
I'm afraid that she won't remember.. That I am her daughter... I'm afraid that she won't remember.. The sound of my voice or even what I look like.. They would tell me the same thing      Everyday... That she would get better.. But she never did... She would ask questions over and over.. She takes longer than usual at Everything.. She would get angry For no reason.. She would laugh and be happy And that makes me worry... She said that she can see and talk to dad... That's impossible... he died When I was three So how can she see him, but I can't How can she remember what he looks like.. And every day she asks me "Who am I?" ... And that hurt deep inside... I would tell her doctors What she says They would say what they always say... That I gotta hope for the best.. That she would get better.. But this time I knew they were lying... She wasn't getting any better She would never be the same again... I miss the way She talked to me It made me feel.. That I was worth loving.. I miss the way She did things.. The way she motivated me.. To do my very best.. To help others... I miss the old her.. U know... I wish things would go back To the way it was... I want her to tell me what I should do When I get scared... To tell me that I'm strong.. And that I'm beautiful.... To tell me who I really am.. But how can she.. She can't even remember Me.... I wish I could see him too U know... Or maybe just hear his voice.. For the very first time.. I secretly wish that I were her... Just to experience those things With him.. To see his face.. To know what he looks like... To constantly not be worrying about Someone that's happy... For her to tell me That it's okay to cry.. Its okay.. To break down.. As long as I get back up.. And to hold me as she did... When I was just a child.. But how can she.. She doesn't even remember me.. I'm Afraid that she won't Accept me.. As part of her.. I'm afraid that she won't.. Love me the same.... And most of all I'm afraid that things have changed.... And that I have lost my mother.... To this big monster....
This story is from the perspective of someone who has a loved one suffering from dementia. It's a fearful life situation that affects so many of our loved ones. Stay strong always.
Eva01
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Jun 15, 2019
Jun 15, 2019 at 6:59 PM UTC
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