dear [...],
sigh
"i'm sorry that i wasn't enough
to be there for you."
but i'm scared
don't act like you care
when you don't
i'm scarred
but those are just anecdotes
burned onto my skin
people think that there's an antidote
they tell me to stay;
wanna leave, but i don't
it's not just another season
i just keep my mouth shut
there are too many reasons
for so long, i've been suicidal
all this weight stacked in a pile
i just hesitate when it comes to dial
it feels like i'm on trial
i'm a burden
everything's hurting
that ledge on the bridge, i'll revisit
i see no point to life
i've already past my limit
these thoughts on rewind
over and over and over again
going over the edge
it's not a matter of if, but when
can't deal with this pain
only way with a gun to my head
two bullets to my brain
shooting blanks
be grateful they say, give thanks
putting time into loyalty
not enough buoyancy
i'm sinking
mind's overthinking
sleep shrinking
time's ticking
words kicking
thoughts are sickening
lights flickering
on and off, on and off switch
stuck in this matrix
this twisted glitch
i ain't static
not trying to be dramatic
i was a troubled kid, always problematic
back story, a bit traumatic
always an odd one, an erratic
with the cool kids, i never fit
the parties, they weren't "lit"
this hub ain't a house, and
this house don't feel like home
walls fall apart like styrofoam
ain't as well known as the colosseum in Rome
who knew that
old friends would become my new demons
and old demons would become my new friends
stuck in these habits
these flaws are my bad bits
those anxiety attacks are my sad fits
they say that they'll be there
but when you need them most
but why do i feel like
i'm a ghost
xo-rd
Apr 27, 2019
Apr 27, 2019 at 9:17 PM UTC
dear [...],
sigh
"i'm sorry that i wasn't enough
to be there for you."
but i'm scared
don't act like you care
when you don't
i'm scarred
but those are just anecdotes
burned onto my skin
people think that there's an antidote
they tell me to stay;
wanna leave, but i don't
it's not just another season
i just keep my mouth shut
there are too many reasons
for so long, i've been suicidal
all this weight stacked in a pile
i just hesitate when it comes to dial
it feels like i'm on trial
i'm a burden
everything's hurting
that ledge on the bridge, i'll revisit
i see no point to life
i've already past my limit
these thoughts on rewind
over and over and over again
going over the edge
it's not a matter of if, but when
can't deal with this pain
only way with a gun to my head
two bullets to my brain
shooting blanks
be grateful they say, give thanks
putting time into loyalty
not enough buoyancy
i'm sinking
mind's overthinking
sleep shrinking
time's ticking
words kicking
thoughts are sickening
lights flickering
on and off, on and off switch
stuck in this matrix
this twisted glitch
i ain't static
not trying to be dramatic
i was a troubled kid, always problematic
back story, a bit traumatic
always an odd one, an erratic
with the cool kids, i never fit
the parties, they weren't "lit"
this hub ain't a house, and
this house don't feel like home
walls fall apart like styrofoam
ain't as well known as the colosseum in Rome
who knew that
old friends would become my new demons
and old demons would become my new friends
stuck in these habits
these flaws are my bad bits
those anxiety attacks are my sad fits
they say that they'll be there
but when you need them most
but why do i feel like
i'm a ghost
xo-rd
when life ***** i just write
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