brittlelittletinyfrail
seem like words you'd use
to describe something dying
or something delicate
something beautiful
brittle
like my bones
lacking the right
vitamin
because I won't let
anything in
past my lips
little
how I want to be
but for me
it isn't easy
constantly torn between
starve
and live
tiny
and grey
like the color of my face
when things get a little dizzy
after a day of standing
and going with nothing showing
in the x-ray of my stomach
frail
like my feelings
how I want to be seen
with secret strengths
hidden just behind my teeth
that no one will see
because, no
I will not eat
and more
I am breaking but I am made of glue
I am defiant but I listen to you
I am strong but I'm decaying inside
I am healthy but I'm surprised I'm alive
I am dying but I'm fine
WHY DO I HAVE TO LIVE WITH THIS CONSTANT THRUM OF SUICIDE RUNNING THROUGH MY HEAD
never once does she say
'Kill yourself'
oh no
she sounds like a mouse
a whisper
the first flower through the snow
she coos
'Just one less meal'
she sings
'Just one more day'
she demands
'Just one less pound'
her voice is like glass
hammered into my jawbone
sometimes when I speak
it isn't actually me
and I know she's trying to hurt me
the closer I get to her
the uglier she becomes
but her voice is like champagne
bubbling to the surface of my mind
telling me
brittlelittletinyfrail
Nov 19, 2018
Nov 19, 2018 at 12:37 PM UTC
brittlelittletinyfrail
seem like words you'd use
to describe something dying
or something delicate
something beautiful
brittle
like my bones
lacking the right
vitamin
because I won't let
anything in
past my lips
little
how I want to be
but for me
it isn't easy
constantly torn between
starve
and live
tiny
and grey
like the color of my face
when things get a little dizzy
after a day of standing
and going with nothing showing
in the x-ray of my stomach
frail
like my feelings
how I want to be seen
with secret strengths
hidden just behind my teeth
that no one will see
because, no
I will not eat
and more
I am breaking but I am made of glue
I am defiant but I listen to you
I am strong but I'm decaying inside
I am healthy but I'm surprised I'm alive
I am dying but I'm fine
WHY DO I HAVE TO LIVE WITH THIS CONSTANT THRUM OF SUICIDE RUNNING THROUGH MY HEAD
never once does she say
'Kill yourself'
oh no
she sounds like a mouse
a whisper
the first flower through the snow
she coos
'Just one less meal'
she sings
'Just one more day'
she demands
'Just one less pound'
her voice is like glass
hammered into my jawbone
sometimes when I speak
it isn't actually me
and I know she's trying to hurt me
the closer I get to her
the uglier she becomes
but her voice is like champagne
bubbling to the surface of my mind
telling me
brittlelittletinyfrail
wow. I'm fat like usual. nothing new. keep moving
